Friday, January 27, 2006

Cuti Lagi

I'm going back to Kuantan. After the matter has been solved, fortunately. So happy cuti-cuti Malaysia, Happy Chinese New Year, Selamat menyambut tahun baru Hijrah, Happy Federal Territory Day dengan ucapan, jgn jeles cuti Angah lebih sehari ehehehe.

Ana, I'll join the gathering next time ya, luv ya. kiss kiss LA and LC

Thursday, January 26, 2006


Kenapa dah jadi pegawai pun BODOH jugak, inconsiderate sungguh!!!! dah lah aku dok jauh ngan suami, masa cuti pun nak suruh aku kerja kat bilik gerakan tu, in between off days pulak tu. Kenapalah BODOH sangat. Dahlah posting camni, aku sabar lagi... ni mengganggu pulak cuti aku, masa beberapa hari nak hidup normal macam keluarga lain. BODOH la... memang BODOH betul!!!! Nak mintak tukar ngan orang lain sori ler sapa nak kerja 1 Feb tuh!!! kalau aku suruh pegawai tuh pun sure dia tak nak. Cubalah tengok dulu masalah pegawai lain sblm tentukan jadual. BENGANG betullah. [ironically I'm more sad that angry]

Wednesday, January 25, 2006


Went to Intan Kiara for an executive talk. Biasalah.. the invitation is somehow extended to PP, thus I went. Was already in the hall, chit chatting with efi when a group of fine looking man and women in blazers and white nametags entered and filled in the empty spaces. Hahahahaha... memory started to flash. Itulah kerja sampingan bebudak DPA, memenuhkan dewan! I lost count the events I actually had to drag my feet into for the last 6 months.

Went to see Cik F after the talk to settle some errands. Been told that some 40 of our batch have to re-sit Research Methodology paper. Yay! aku lulus. The subject sounds easy, yes for those who have a background in statistics! For us who have no idea what so ever on statistics it was a nightmare. I remember a fellow friend's remark "aku nak kira berapa ringgit aku guna pun pakai jari, mana aku nak paham korelasi, regresi min mod ni semer dlm masa 2 minggu" He was right! We were given 2 weeks to master those jargons and calculations, not to mention the che'gu's 'efficiency'.... bah! they taught us as if we have taken the subject in one way or another. Being an English graduate, I was so tense that I cried a night before the exam. I actually cried! Thank God it's over. Now tell me when will I practise the 'knowledge' I gained?

Went to see Mr. Yamalicious ( as nick named by some of us *drools* hahahaha ) for my Powerbar recovery drink supply ( I get it cheaper from him) He was busy calculating DPA participants' BMI index. I calculated mine too. Alhamdulillah still within a healthy range, itupun after months of painstaking diet and excercise. Thanx ler Mr Yaman for showing me the right way of losing weight and maintaining it.

On my teruna. We were infront of the idiot box, I kissed him on the forehead and....

Teruna : pi ahhhh.. nak enyok vivi ( tepilah nak tengok tv)
Ibu : tak baik cakap gitu ngan ibu. Ibu sayang abang je, ibu rindu tau balik kerja
Teruna : owi... ibu eluk ( sorry, ibu peluk )
Ibu : accepted. (hugged him)
Teruna : ibu.. enyok vivi ( ibu tengok tv)
Ibu : abang tengok cerita apa?
Teruna : enyok vivi aahhhh

Tak paham lagi rupanya teruna aku ehehehe. Kissed him again. Now minus the complain. Waaaaaa now I really miss my other baby. Lambatnya hari Jumaat!

Monday, January 23, 2006

more rambles

Weekend was spent by going here and there attending weddings. But we had a great time visiting relatives. My teruna dah tak kisah travelling nih. He's not yet 2 years old, but he's already pusing satu Malaya. Travelling from Klang to Kuantan is nothing to him. He can be as energetic as before the journey when we arrive about 5 hours later (after 2 pit stops usually at Genting Sempah and Temerloh). Ibunya yang tak larat nak melayan.

It's a pay day today, cola allowance included. Not that much but enough to full the tank for 2 weeks (Klang-Putrajaya-Klang day in day out). Very tiring I tell you. The calculation perday :-

Petrol : RM 10.00
Toll : RM 11.80
Able to be with my teruna everyday : priceless......

But the picture is missing something very important i.e. father figure. I'm still trying very hard to be transferred to Kuantan. It's emotionally draining. Knowing my husband is there alone, prone to all kind of seductions (you name it). I'm being very objective here. We can never trust anyone including our husband 100%. I feel guilty at the same time. My husband has a wife but he gets his right as a husband only 2 days a week. My son has a father but he gets to be with his father only 2 days a week. I know, I get to play my role as a wife only 2 days a week, but this is my choice and in doing so I dragged my little family into it. It's draining me physically and emotionally. I pray to Allah to give strength and courage to face it all.

On a lighter mode. Congratulations to Tok Rimau on the arrival of the bundle of joy, Taufik Afi bin Ghazali. The mon-mon sisters now have their own bodyguard eh Tok.. less work for you then. Another bundle of joy will be delivered to hubby's best friend, Bro Mezan about 7 months++ from now. Welcome to parenthood. Lets just hope Mezan junior will take after Sal's eheh.

Will be travelling to Kuantan (again) this Friday for CNY, Awal Muharram and Hari Wilayah, off days are stretch until Thursday, I stretch it until Sunday (took a leave on Friday 3rd feb). Alang2 kerja sehari baik aku cuti.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Suwey betol!

Petang yang suwey (pardon my language, I juat have to puke it all out of my system) Dah dekat Pekan K*p*r bila aku terserempak dengan mamat bongek tu. Sebab benda tu dah lama, adalah dalam 7 tahun, aku senyumlah, malas dah nak ingat cerita lama, mamat bongek ni boleh buat muka pastu paling ke lain. Memang sial! Woi ko ingat ko sapa nak buat aku camtu! sudahlah ko tipu mak bapak aku, pakcik aku yang satu sekolah ngan ko, sedara mara aku yang dah percaya kat ko, boleh lagi ko buat aku camtu! Nampak sangat BERSALAH!

I'm a kind of person who will never forget. I can accept the fact that he married someone else, that we are not destined to be together. I swallowed it slowly rationalising that this is Allah's way of telling me that that mamat bongek is not for me. I can accept it, he dumped me just like that, I can accept it. But when the truth prevailed, that he actually made up stories about me and my family to his, made up stories about his family to mine to be with his new lover. I cannot accept it! You can talk nasty things about me but not my family, ever! It just shows how low one can get and YOU mamat bongek had showed me just that. I wasted 5 years of my emotional life damn it.

Jadi kalau aku dah senyum tu, dan aku tau ko nampak aku, cubalah sedar sikit. Aku bukan nak ko bercakap ngan aku, menyembah aku mohon maaf, menyembah mak aku, sedara mara aku mintak ampun. Aku cuma nak ko jadi manusia yang beradab, yang berbudi, macam suatu waktu dulu. At least senyumlah balik. Aku dah takde perasaan dah. Aku dah ada suami dan anak yang membahagiakan aku. Ko jagalah bini ko tuh baik2. Aku doakan ko cepat dapat anak. Dah 5 tahun kan ko kawin? sebab ko pun anak tunggal.

Thursday, January 19, 2006


Just another boring working day. Finishing off minutes for yesterday's meeting. Not that I'm that efficient, it's just that I have nothing else to do (really?)

Yesterday's story

Story 1.
Went to Parcel B and had lunch with Ady. He's here for a project he handled. Second meeting after the one we had in Senibong 2 years back.

Story 2.
Bloghopped and found 2 blogs by ex-i*u. Looking forward to know both of them.

Story 3.
Suddenly I craved for idli (Indian cuisine) So, on my way back, I dropped by a mamak stall and bought them. Had a spendid dinner with my teruna indulging ourselves with yummy idli (with chadni ofcourse)

No handphones in schools as today's newspaper read. Personally, I think it's a wise decision. Students can always use a public phone. Danger lurks everywhere, our children are becoming target without realizing it. How difficult can it be to snatch a handphone form a child? and what if it goes beyond that? Nauzubillah, God Forbid.

"Kerenah Birokrasi" - one says it really exists and she had suffered, and another says it does not exists (because he has not suffered?) a whole lot others whisper, whine and shout but do they actually take a step further in solving the said problem? NO ! For goodness sake, pin point the root problem, and settle it once and for all. There's no harm in listening to the public view because it's them who have to go through a whole lot. In the case of chronic disease, there can always be a better way, why is it so hard to use the fund? It is time to revise the procedures, make it easier if it's hard. It is already hard for the parents to see their child in pain, knowing not the future. And doctors.... please... can't the surgery be done first? please.. have pity, have mercy towards these children... symphaty is not enough to save them. Hmmm... I can only wonder.....

Parents to be. Buy an insurance policy that covers any disease occurs during the first 2 years of your baby's life. Most policies do not give coverage on the basic of " any disease within 2 years after birth are congenital disease" . I bought a policy that covers both my baby and me from pregnancy until he reaches 2. Look out for such. But it must be bought before pregnancy.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006


Updates in random order of no particular topic...

No 1

Imagine this, I filled the Laporan Prestasi Kerja Tahunan form for 2004 in 2006...bah! well... joinned the service on the 20th Dec, went to P*D Unggul until 31st Dec and report for duty on 3rd Jan. How and who to evaluate us in that short duration of 11 days in service. Though by rights (I think so) we are entitle for a raise (I hope so). The form is filled and on its way to J*A for further action. Hmmm... lets say they decided we are to get the raise, that means I'll be about RM 900 richer in few months time ehehehe, (dream on Angah!). Cross my fingers..

No 2

10'000 teachers will be promoted to DG 44. A very good news to start a year is it not. I'm happy for them, after all, they deserve it. If not for them (not all of them though) I wont be here doing things I do. Keep up the good work cikgu!

No 3

Came accross a friend's blog. A mother to be. Welcome to motherhood dear :)

No 4

It's January, My teruna is turning 2 next month. I know I'll feel the same odd feeling, of knowing that there'll be no 29th February this year. My bundle of joy cum bundle of energy cum chirping bird. He's now tuned to a question mode. He ask 'apa ni?' every now and then everytime he sees or hear something new.

Teruna : Ibu, apa ni (he saw buah mengkudu and held it)
Ibu : Buah
Teruna : uah... (buah)
Ibu : Buah mengkudu, nenek tanam
Teruna : uah udu (uah udu)
Teruna : Ibu.. leh atan uah (boleh makan buah)
Ibu : Tak boleh, buah untuk ubat
Teruna : Apa ni?
Ibu : Buah mengkudu buat ubat, nenek tanam
Teruna : Abang atan, atit (abang makan sakit)

He took a bite and threw it away hahaha.

Teruna : Ibu, nak num (nak minum)
Ibu : Ibu dah cakap buah untuk ubat kan.
Teruna : tak dap (tak sedap)
Teruna : nak num (nak minum)

Brought him a glass of plain water.

Ibu : Nah air, abang minum baca Bismillah
Teruna : Apa ni?
Ibu : *Air jarang
Teruna : air ayam nak num ( air jarang nak minum)

He took a sip, a big gulp and handed it back to me

Teruna : aceh (terima kasih)
Ibu : sama-sama
Teruna : ain eter (main kereta)
Ibu : ok, pergi main kereta dengan bibik, sayang ibu satu

He gave me a kiss and started running and shouting "bibik!" looking for his aunt.

Alhamdullillah, by 22 months he's capable of constructing simple word phrases though pelat yang amat.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Rest in peace dearest


I was shocked to receive a news this morning, my dearest friend, officemate, and mentor during my time in PSDC passed away after 2 months in coma. I will always remember her smile, her words of encouragement, her determination, her strength in battling with her condition. Thank you Kak Iza for informing me

My dearest...
(the late Puan Rokiah binti Ahmad)
Damailah di sana..
Disisi pencipta mu..
Semoga tenang..
Mereka yang beriman..
Doa kami..
Yang mengingati..
Sentiasa bersamamu..

Ya Allah..
Cucurilah rahmat..
Ke atas rohnya..

Friday, January 06, 2006


Alhamdulillah, my leave sheduled next week is approved. One whole week to spend with my precioussss....I'm going off to Kelantan to celebrate Eidul-Adha. Abang will be here this evening to fetch me and my teruna. The alst time I celebrated eidul-Adha in Kelantan was in 2003. Was a blast!

Will be on duty on the 16th. Being in the bilik gerakan doing nothing except accepting faxes and emails and phone calls from various departments and people regarding flood. Not to mention the killing temperature in the room, it's freezing! Well I just have to make do with the big screens and ASTRO hahahaha! Now where did I put the Astro guide?

Already got the DPA 0204 profile. Nicely done. Easier to keep in touch with the comrades, all 334 of us. The new batch is now undergoing the training. My advise... EXPECT the unexpected. I bet it'll be different from previous batches since the handing over.

It's lunch time, Alamanda here I come. Daripada duit aku habis makan kat parcel A nih baik aku habiskan duit makan kat sana.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

past present future

Happy Neew Year everybody! Hope it's not too late.. spent the new year's eve with hubby and teruna, sitting at a balconi on the 9th floor of a hotel in Kuantan (though my house is 2 km away hahaha) watching my teruna marvelled at everything he saw from our balconi. I cannot help myself from thinking of what is stored for him in the coming years. He's turning 2 in 2 months time. How time flies! Parents' anxiety.... very contagious...

Down the memory lane shall we? Started 2005 with a new job, new responsibility, totally different from what I used to do, posted to Putrajaya, posted back to Pekan, a miscarriage, away from hubby and teruna for DPA. Lots of ups and downs but I managed, Alhamdulillah.

Starting 2006 with a new look (hmmm..) hoping for the stork to deliver the second bundle of joy, praying for strength and courage to be away from hubby and teruna again (don't know for how long) New year's resolution? I seldom make one. I live day by day and face whatever lies in my way