Wanna puke it all out!!

Everything was fine, everything was ok, everything was in order until one particular person came and made some comments, bragged *a full 1 hour or so* about how lovely her house is, how she managed to ukur tanah around Kuantan searching for cushions to match her like-I-can't-afford-one sofa.. duhhh!!! like everything must be told lah. I, being a nice hostess, tadah my ear, smiled once in a while *feeling of giving her a tight slap* for ruin my peaceful weekend. Oh!!!! being a pain in the a** she was, she gave out lots and lots of comments, negative ones mind you about my little heaven which is still under renovations, yeah... ok... ok.... I can still listen, I guess that was not enough for her, she started to give me lots and lots of suggestions on how to decorate my little heaven, suggestions if followed can definitely make hole in my pocket.*bragging still on* erkkk.... her husband came, she left after testing my not-so-delicious kek batik. Phewwwww..... I rather be with 10 todlers than with her.

Abang just looked at the entire scene smiling... I had to do all the listening. But it's ok, those were all her opinion, people's opinions are always right, it's up to us to accept them or not. Masuk telinga kanan keluar telinga kiri ler. I just think of the entire scene (s) as one of weekend's free entertainment eheh..

ok... it's all out of system now.. I can breath easily *humming*


Juara Lagu 18

I admit, I enjoyed watching the show. Both presenters were superb minus the double meaning jokes they cracked once in a while. The winners, they deserved the winning. Personally, I like Adibah Noor's version of Wassini eheh.. no offence to Waheeda's fans. Noraniza Idris, as usual.... her formula worked against her again. Siti's creativity helped her won the best performance I guess, hip-hop style plus tap dance, she did good. All in all I gave 3 out of 5 stars to AJL 18. Anyone knows the criteria to choose best vocal?


New Year's Resolution

Still thinking of one eheheh.... did I achieve any one of the resolutions I made for this year? Maybe 1 or 2.... alhamdulillah. Still have another day to come out with one for 2004.

Of accidents and more accidents

Working Saturday aka sitting-in-the-office-doing-nothing. Drafting some tutorials, working on the mid-term paper thats all. Read today's newspaper on the accident involving a lorry and few motorcycles, hmmm... who to be blamed? the lorry driver? the motorcyclists? the highway developer? The first is to be blamed for his reckless driving. The second... I doubt but the third has to be blamed too for their failure to build proper shelter for the motorcyclists under fly-overs. You know the ones they have along PLUS, with proper parking spaces behind the railing. About a meter from the road.

We are so worried on the mounting number of accidents, we try to find solutions- all policemen can give out summons, an officer on every bus journey, no journey after 9.00 pm, various campaigns bla bla bla.. the list goes on and on..... but have we ever think to upgrade the safety level of our road, our highway, our vehicles?

Look at our roads, how many are sufficiently lighted? how many are actually free from potholes? how many actually have enough space of 'bahu jalan' in case terbabas ke, emergency stops ke? Sometimes, these things are the causes of accidents... yup, the drivers have to be alert of the road's conditions.. but these things can be avoided in the first place right?

Our vehicles, our national vehicles... no offence to fellow owners. The manufacturers keep upgrading the body kit, the look, the image, biar nampak sporty katanya, biar menarik pengguna muda katanya... why can't they take a step forward to upgrade the safety side as well... a stronger chasis, airbag, ABS brake system, to name few aspects. Yes, the price will be higher but it will be a worthwile investment. At least kalau accident tu tak de lah teruk sangat. Ni... kena butang seluar jeans pun boleh kemek... hmmmmm....

The drivers, what to do? what should we do to teach them to 'bersopan santun di jalan raya'. Takkan nak letak polis sepanjang jalan. Stern action? already being done. Stringen penalty? already being done. The problem is their attitude... how to change someone's attitude? I don't know.


Rencam

-Thought of taking a leave on 2nd January since 3rd January is the 1st Saturday. Nak balik kampung.

- Spent an amount of money the other day.... money flows like water these days... do I have any other choice? naaaaaaaaah

- Appointment with gynae on Monday, 34 weeks, 6 in counting... it is fast approaching.... mixed feeling at the moment :)

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Went to Bank Islam yesterday to renew my ATM card. Hehehe... overdue dah. No charge whatsoever alhamdulillah. Planned of going to Bank Muamallat at about 10.30 am to deposit some money, but somehow I hesitated. So I just went back to the office.

Last night, the breaking news... Bank Muamallat dirompak lebih kuirang pukul 11.00 pagi... Ya Allah.. I guess I made a very, very wise decision not to go there. kalau tak, I might be one of the eye witnesses. Scary thought came over... eiiii.. I started imagining bad things...

A colleague delivered a very healthy baby girl last night, weighing 3.65 kg. Going to pay her a visit after work. Congratulation Kak Ija.

Tomorrow's plan : doing nothing at all - marvellous plan is it not?

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Money well-spent (?)

Watched LoTR : Return of The king on Sunday. The movie was great.. but I think the part where Saruman made chaos at the Shire, and the fact that he was eventually stabbed by Wormtongue should have been included in the movie.... but yeah... people won't notice, it does not interfere with the plot sequence, but for those who have read the book, they surely want everything to be included. The part where Aragorn himself heals Eowyn, Faramir and Merry, the part where Faramir falls for Eowyn.... yeah... then again, camne nak compress everything in 3 hours kan.... eheh...

Abang gave his comment " kan ke mudah kalau dari mula guna tentera hantu tuh lawan semer orcs". I answered, "kalau camtu tak thrill ler cerita...." I would say, I like LoTR : The Two Towers better, why? because it was fast-paced, as simple as that.

What I detest the most is people's attitude in cinema. Do they have to talk out loud, "lepas ni kan jadi camni, jadi camni." Do they have to 'rock' my seat? Why do I always have to say things like "boleh diam sikit tak?" or "tolong turunkan kaki" Do these people have to attend course on "how to behave in cinemas" or does cinema's management has to come out with "Cinema manual - the do's and dont's" hmmmmm.. any solution? The recent incident was the worst - orang masuk panggung nak tengok wayang... dia pi buat wayang pulak... grrrrrrr ilang selera nak tengok wayang.


Congratulations and celebrations la la la la

to fellow comrades on their wedding
1. Wan Mohd Faizal and Norlida
2. Shafie and Aswahaida
3. Khairul Nizam and Noorul Firdaus


to fellow comrades - bride and bridegroom to be
1. Mohd Hafiz
2. Nurul Aina

to fellow comrades on their engagement
1. Kafiza
2. Suhaili

And they all have held or will hold the ceremony this month... conratulations again :)

I crave for sate, went on search last night and failed. There are a lot of sate stalls here, but I wanted that one and that one only. "Gerai cuti dari 21/12/2003 hingga 27/12/2003" I was so frustrated reading it. Abang said, "makan kat gerai lain tak nak ke?" I said "tak nak." Being a good husband he is, we went back home, and he cooked his famous instant noodles for both of us.... daripada nak makan sate, makan mee segera jer... macam2....

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Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday... counting the days... of actually, finally....updating my blog... answering a fellow gejuis' question... I'm fine, safe and sound. I just dont have any interesting updates of my life.. all routine ler...

The jamuan hari raya was ok.. the food was nice, but what I hated the most was, "pastikan semua staff berada di dewan tepat pukul 4 ye" I was like.. oh ok.. so I finished my class 1 hour early. I was there before the clock strikes 4.00pm but the actual jamuan started at 5.00pm. Baik aku teruskan kelas tadik.. rugi masa jer.. grrrrrrr... speeches and all before makan2, the news we were waiting for.... bonus. Oklah... a month pay or minimum RM 1000.


After reading a quite disturbing article, Angah thinks that:

Words sting like bees... the pain is sometimes unbearable, can be healed but the painful memory sticks to our mind. We'll go "no way... I wouldn't want to be stung anymore" but how? stay away from all 'bees', kill the 'bees' or just let ourselves being stung again and again until we develop some kind of immune system in our body?

I'll go for the third option, sooner or later the bees will get bored and eventually stop doing what they do best.... How do I know for sure, well people hate being ignored. Ignore the words not the people.. don't give any reaction to whatever disturbing words being uttered, don't give any response.. just pretend that we forgot to switch on our ears.... the bees will sting when we react to their actions right? So.... without any reaction or response from us, the bees can keep those words and shove them to where the sun doesn't shine....

Angah finished thinking.... phewwww.....

I have to
- book LOTR-Return of the King tickets for tomorrow.
- do some serious grocery shopping.
- lipat all the kain... mounting up in the laundry basket.
- attend a fellow comrade's wedding - what to get him? a kettle jug?
- finish making bakul hantaran for a customer.... just some final touches.
- get some rest after a looooong week (should be at the top of the list hmm..)

have a great weekend everyone :)

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Very wet weekend... spent it at home taking care of abang, he had high fever. Hmm.. and took care of my brother in law too... a tendon at the back of his leg (ankle area) was partially cut, main lari2 lepas makan roti canai, terpijak gelas, praaakkkkk... gelas pecah, tendon putus. Admitted to to the hospital on Tuesday actually, discharged on Thursday.... dahlah kena jahit, kena simen sampai peha lagik... well.. 10 years old active boy... what do you expect, sitting properly, watching tv with the rest of the family? you wish.... eheh

My mother in law, was quite shaky when she looked at her son's conditionafter the treatment, yerlah.. she thought the injury was soooo serious sampai kena simen.. explained to her, that it was just a precaution step, avoiding him from moving too much... she seemed satisfied with my answer. But the incident is a blessing in disguise I supposed. It doesn't leave him with any option than lepak kat atas rumah. Kalau tak, mesti tak dapat dikesan sebab main banjir.

Went to clinic the other day for further check-up, alhamdulillah everything is fine. Another 1 and a half month to go... God.. how nervous I am. I'll just pray for the best :)

Workwise, quite relaxing since the workload is just 9 hours per week.. Have to buat kelas tambahan for the next two weeks, just in case I couldn't finish the target syllabus before raya haji. Kesian pulak lecturer ganti nanti.

Got Majlis Jamuan Aidilfitri and Anugerah Khidmat Cemerlang tomorrow afternoon. What? No.... it's not me.. as long as naik gaji.. oklah I supposed eheh.. not so much of an ambitious worker am I? What to wear eh? cam lah ada baju raya pun this year :P, I'll just bring my empty stomach then.

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Back to work after 3 days of bed rest. Felt the pain since Monday, but I ignored it, can't stand it Tuesday morning, went to clinic.... did some tests and the doc said I experienced premature contractions.. which, in certain cases can lead to premature birth. Ya Allah.. I was so shocked. The causes were, stress, overwork and extensive travelling... kes tak reti duduk diam ler nih. So I was given specific instruction to stay in bed for 3 days, with some medication I hated... yuck... The baby was okay though, alhamdulillah. I'm going to the clinic again this afternoon for further check-up... cross my fingers for things to be just fine.

Banjir! banjir! 3 days of non stop raining caused flood.... area rumah aku pun banjir juga. Since I was in my hibernation period, tak dapat saksikan ler air naik (baca: main air) Tak tinggi pun, sampai paras betis jer. Already subsided this morning, Alhamdulillah.

Geng Jurnal's gathering next month, really wanted to join the fun with you guys, but due to my condition, it'll be my 37th week.... kenalah lupakan hasrat suci murni tuh. Takper, there'll be some other time.

Off for some documentation work *whosssshhhh*

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Arrived from Kota Bharu after maghrib last night... sooooo exhausted. Used Jerangau-Jabur highway (highway ke?) but the road was closed when we reached Dungun.. so had to use Jalan Pantai.. took us extra time ler... was raining all the way. Raining all day in Kuantan, abang told me on the phone. At home.. took a hot bath, ate a little and zzzzzzzz

Shopping? no time to shop since the workshop's schedule was so tight. Had a chance to 'sneak out' to Pasar Siti Khadijah, bought some cloths... and since we stayed at Renaissance Hotel.. Billion ler tempat merayau... got myself a pair of nice sandal.. this time it is to my feet's liking. The weather was suprisingly good the whole 3 days I was there... just hujan manja yesterday. I kept track of the weather via TV etc.. nak travel balik kan.. Alhamdulillah, the weather was on our side..

This morning, went to office... mamai jer. I had to jaga kaunter for new intakes registration day. Work is work... thought of taking an MC but the good side of angah said no...

Oh.. congratulation to Jigomorrison and Borg on their wedding yesterday. Got the news from spyz's blog welcome to a new life, enjoy it to the fullest, and yes spyz.. I guess jigo will remember the discussion on tulang yang bengkok.... I heard another gejuis will tie the knot anytime soon.... sapa? saya tak nak beritau, anda ceritakan...

Remember the thing I was so upset about on my birthday... I shared it with a fellow friend. We never met, but we share the same experience, the 'ouchhhhh, that hurts' kind of experience. Over e-mails, we reached a conclusion, let gone be bygone, we have our lives, why messing it up.... with unimportant things right... Yeahaaaa... 2 thumbs up for the spirit Kak Jas..

New semester has begun, alhamdulillah just have to teach 2 classes, 6 hours per week...

Can't wait for December 18th.. Lord of the Ring : Return of the King.. lambatnya minggu depan.

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Back to work today, a note on my table welcome me.... have to attend bengkel pengajaran in Kota Bharu this weekend... sure penat giler travel. What to do... work is work right...

Arrived in Kuantan yesterday evening, was raining all the way. Biasalah ujung tahun nih. Had our lunch at Sup Gear Box restaurant in Temerloh, infront Kolej Risda.

Spent about a week in Klang with mum, visiting relatives and friends as usual, year in year out. Day 3 of Syawal was spent at home, entertaining guests. 4th and 5th of syawal baru bergerak. was eating like nobody business eheheh.. everything looks delicious. Decided to entertain my appetite, while I still can.

Oh.. went for check-up this morning, dah start 2 minggu sekali since dah 30 weeks. Everything is normal, including weight gain... phewwww remembering the food I took the whole of last week.

On the lighter note, welcome to this world dear nieces and nephew..... Nur Firza Irdina binti Ahmad Faidzi, Shahrul Izwan bin Mohd Amir and to-be-named binti Ruszaini eheh... Hugs and kisses from Mak Ngah.

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Salam Aidil Fitri 1424 Hijrah

Buat semua pembaca Angah's Online Journal

Dikesempatan ini Angah ingin menyusun sepuluh jari memohon ampun dan maaf atas segala kesalahan yang dilakukan secara sedar atau tidak, kalau-kalau ada mana-mana entry jurnal ini yang mengocak damai sesetengah pembaca.

Selamat menyambut 1 Syawal 1424 Hijrah. Maaf zahir dan batin

Ikhlas daripada Angah dan suami.

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It feels nice to receive news from friends. Received one from a former coursemate in Uni, she just finished her master... congrats dear, I wish you all the best. From 1 e-mail, it became a thread of e-mails from the other BENdits (what we call ourselves). Mostly updates on our lives, mums to be, brides to be etc... Since there were about 30 of us taking the course back then, the bond is strong among us. Bila nak buat the real reunion ek?

Received a raya card from the University's alumni. They never fail to send me the bulletin every month. I on the other hand, never give any feedback. Very teruk of me lah.

It has been 21 days of fasting and alhamdulillah.. tak rongak lagi. Hope I'll be able to fast the entire month. I am quite disappointed though, I don't have a chance to break fast with my family back home. Abang is busy with tonnes of works to finish before raya. We were supposed to go back to Klang last week but we cancelled the plan over things he deemed important. So sad huhuhuhu... (pinjam en. poad)

So raya plan this year would be... 1st syawal in Kuantan and 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 4th..... allright put it this way, I'll spend 7 of my 10 days holiday in Klang....and another 2 in Kelantan. A sweet 'revenge' sebab tak dapat balik masa puasa. Unfair? keep it to thyself eheh..

Weekend was spent at home, watching CDs. Oh.. went to Megamall and Kuantan Parade in search of tudung for the family ( mum, sis in law, Ita and Noni). Bought 1 for each of them and none for me. Tudung aku banyak lagik. Planning of buying a pair of sandal for raya but none suits my taste, either too strappy or to plain, not to my feet's liking. I need a sandal that offers me both comfort and style. I'll give it another round some times this week...

Workwise, relaxing week so to say. Just have to mark the remaining 2 papers, submit the end result and then cuti raya. Again, I'll be one of the remaining few who will work on Monday the 24th. Tak perlah, I'll punch in... go home...come back at 4.30 and punch out. What a plan *evil grin* hahahahaha.. nak mampos?

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It has been a week since the last entry, nope... I wont use that lame excuse - no time-. In fact I have all the time in the world to jot down something, but it just that I was not in the mood to write, I don't have interesting stories to tell.

Yesterday was total relaxation for me, went to clinic for check-up. All ok, alhamdulillah, bought some CDs.. 4 for RM 10, very suprising. So we went on spree, beli sampai RM 30. Watched 'The Others' featuring Nicole Kidman. Nice story. I'm still looking for a CD entitled 'Madam Butterfly'. Susah betul nak cari CD lama nih ek.. I didn't cook for iftar, My sister in law was in charge, so there I was lazying around till buka puasa.

I received a sad news on Tuesday. One of my student passed away, involved in an accident in Raub on Sunday. He was in the middle of final exam, went back to his kampung for iftar with his family. He was a good student, his first semester as IPT student. May Allah bless his soul. Al-Fatihah...

Some of my officemates have started their cuti raya, ye lah, since they have no more classes and this is and oppurtunity to relax from work, balance annual leave pun bertimbun. Mine pun bertimbun buat I'll save it for maternity leave next year.

Received few kad raya... I still prefer the old way, write something, put it in an envelope, paste a stamp and post it. Still doing it until now. The feeling of reading a hard copy raya card is diffrent from reading an e-card. I received some from my students... It feels good to know that they remember me.

Oh.. I also received several wedding invitations. Semua masa musim raya. Kalau larat pergilah, kalau tak kirim salam jerlah eheh...

I'm off now... have to finish the internal audit due tomorrow.... very boringlah, have to count all the chairs and tables, and practically everything owned by this company... Eh boss... no bonus ah this year?

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I have been craving for ikan pekasam, abang bought it few weeks back but it was not what I want. I want ikan pekasam kedah style, the one with beras goreng. Today as I stepped into my office, a container full of ikan pekasam was on my table. A student from Kedah bought it for me. Alhamdulillah. So tonight it would be ikan pekasam goreng dengan bawang dan cili padi treat for me.. oh yes.. never forget a squeeze of lime upon serving. Can't wait for iftar today eheh..

I have difficulty to sleep these days... get on my bed at 11pm and I stiil up when the clock strikes 1am... ayoooo ho hard lah to get up for sahur and to work. Any suggestion on how to overcome this problem? I've tried many things without a success... so frustrated.

Gulai ayam, ayam goreng, ulam and sotong pedas yesterday... and caramel for dessert. I hate having to think what to cook day after day. Not that I'm complaining. It's just that I don't know what to cook anymore. Kang susah2 masak singgang ikan aya... Buying food at Bazaar Ramadhan is not an option, I only buy kuih there. Why? becoz I'm pretty much cerewet about the taste.

I miss my mum's cooking!!!!

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Spent the whole day marking papers.. phewww.. penat mata aku. My mum called, there'll be an iftar, sort of family's get together this week at grandma's place... oklah i'll be there though I know I won't enjoy it as much as I wanted to.... I'll spare the details.

Watched my nephews played firecrackers last night, brought me down the memory lane when ayah was still with us... hmm.. I miss him. Alfatihah.

What... baju raya? No specific baju raya this year. I'll just wear whatever I have bought. Abang... he said baju nikah still fits, so no need to buy or tailor a new one. The money can be channeled to other things. I couldn't agree more.

Kuih? I'll make some... the ingredients are just money in my pocket eheh.. no time to bake cookies lah. Talking about kuih raya, rupa jer lain, rasa sama jugak. But I'll make sure there are plenty of kerepek on my table, different kind ofcourse.

Duit raya? you give me lah.....

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Second week of Ramadhan, alhamdulillah. Planning of going back to Klang this weekend... I have to start marking the final exam paper today, hopefully I'll finish it by Friday. That means about 30 papers perday, on everage. it's not the number that scares me.. I mean 30 is nothing but other obligations I have to fullfil, classes and another 2 sets of final exam questions to be drafted. God.. give me strength.. Amin.

Our iftar cum farewell party (?) last weekend was ok, the food was ok except for the crab and terubuk bakar... "cam tangkap tahun lepas jer" eheh... I skipped both after seeing my friends eating them. The steamboat and kuih muih were tasty.

going home now.. nak singgah pasar ramadhan mana ek?

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Was on mc yesterday, suffering from cough and cold for about 4 days now... so the doctor suggested a bed rest for a day. Alhamdullillah, I still managed to fast. Breakfasting with nasi kerabu my sister in law made, managed to finish half a plate. Today... emm.. planning to break fast with abang at Phuket, with ikan bakar and tomyam campur.. yum yum.

Classes like usual, today marks the last day of our Executive Director stamping his punch card, he'll be transrefed to Putrajaya for a new post as Division Secretary for Administration and Finance in the Ministry of National Unity And Social Development. We had a farewell gathering and tomorrow will be a farewell iftar in one of the famous hotel here in Kuantan.

Che' Det retirement... I missed the ceremony. Do you think they'll hold delayed telecast? I don't think so.. have to watch the news tonight. For a person who has done a magnificent job for his country, he shall be remembered.... God bless. And good luck Pak Lah the new PM.

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Bubur Lambuk

Went to Bazaar Ramadhan in Cenderawasih, not too big nor too small, lots of stalls selling the same thing... eheh.. what do you expect? So bought myself bubur lambuk east coast style, sata and tamar. Bought some kuih for the family. Was breaking my fast when my sister called...

"Kak Lin, tengah buat apa?"
"Tengah buka puasa ler"
"Tak aci sungguh, orang tengah tunggu azan nih"
"meh ah datang sini, buka cepat sikit ehehehe"

Eating bubur lambuk... but thinking about the famous bubur lambuk Kampung Baru, thinking about bubur lambuk west coast style... I'm going back to me hometown next two weeks so...

"Ita, tolong amik bubur lambuk kampung baru, Kak Lin nak balik"
"Woi... takkan aku nak drive dari Klang ke KL semata2 nak amik bubur lambuk, aku amikkan yang kat Masjid India Klang jerlah"
"Bolehlah.. janji aku dapat makan, kesian kat aku"
"Ye ah.. dah azan dah.. aku nak buka.. babai Kak Lin, assalammualaikum"
"Babai, waalaikumsalam"

What to cook today... any suggestion?

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1st day of Ramadhan. Cooked singgang daging and daging goreng for sahur. I only managed to eat 2 slices of toasted bread with honey and a glass of milk, which I think is sufficient... I seldom bersahur before.

The enggagement ceremony went well. Mum arrived on Friday afternoon... tak berenggang langsunglah dengan dia. Asked mum to cook Rendang daging Palembang, I wanted to eat it actually but mum cook for the kenduri as well. My in laws family seemed to like it. So the wedding will be after Aidil Adha.. I wont be around to offer a helping hand.. Mum went back to Klang on Sunday, I was crying, suddenly I felt sad... hmmm... hormones were at work I guess.

On Sunday, Abang and I went to Sungai Pandan waterfall, just the two of us, lazying around. Tak mandi pun, just wanted to spent some time alone... We had a nice nasi dagang and keropok lekor...

Back to work...... have to comlpete the carry marks form before Wednesday to be summited to UTM. With 100 over students, it looks like a never ending work, but why whine since I opted for the job eheh...

On a lighter note, already 25 weeks and 15 in counting... yup, I feel blessed with his presence, I just hope and pray for the best, for both of us... :)

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It is a bit annoying when...

+ someone tries to show you how to do things you do best

+ someone you call friend talks about you behind your back

+ someone else anwers your call with a background voice saying " say I'm not here"

+ you have to keep your mouth shut over things you deem right

+ you watch someone gets the credit over your hardwork

+ you lend some money and the chance of getting it back is slim

+ you have to wait for your not-so-hard-to-cook dish at restaurant

+ you live with 9 others but all chores are yours to finish

+ you have to hear someone keeps bragging on and on, on how perfect his/her life is

+ I have to write all this, using the second person pronoun, to puke it all out from my system before it all explode to uncontrollable anger, which won't be good to others....

+ I cannot puke it out verbally because the 'goody' angah doesn't have the heart to hurt others' feeling....

But hey!!!!! they do thay all the time without thinking about my feeling!!

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Deepavalli just around the corner, so Happy Deepavalli to all my friends.. eheh.. sounds like a dedication on TV. I watched the new advertisement by Petronas, as usual.. a superb portrayal of Malaysian culture. I am still waiting for other advertisements by other big companies. They used to produce many good seasonal advertisements back then. Tak bawa untung kot.... but can't we like forget about profit once in a blue moon ?

Can't wait for my mum to come over to Kuantan ( yeah.. I keep repeating this over and over again) But I am sooooo excited. On Sunday, she'll be with my sister in Johor Baharu. I believe my sister has something to discuss with her.. I'll be getting a brother in law soon... I just hope mum will approve and I strongly believe she will...

Thanx Auntie Yan and Kak G for having the same opinion as I do. I agree being a mother is a bless, being a daughter to a very loveable mother is a bless... I won't forget that... lesson number one, be good to your mother and your children will be good to you too, Insyaallah. Looking forward for your advice auntie and kak G :)

Ramadhan is approaching.. I just pray I can perform the ibadah well... I hope I won't spend too much on food... I hope I can wake up at wee hours to prepare sahur, note for abang : please wake me up will you? and I surely hope I can spend more days in Klang eheh * background scene - memujuk husband*

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I bought mum a jubah like dress and a ring on my birthday. Yup, on my birthday. I always buy something for her on my birthdays. A small token of love from a daughter to her mother. A way for me to express my gratitude to her for giving me a birth, and most of all her unconditional love. I love you mum...

My sister in law is busy preparing for her engagement, me... I just help her decorating the hantaran boxes. I remember telling her early this year, jokingly ofcourse, that I might not be able to offer any help on her wedding day..."mana tau kak lin sarat masa tuh" I guess it is not a joke anymore eheh... Her wedding is scheduled sometime after Raya Haji... I'll be on my bed with junior. .

Workwise, will be busy for the next 2 weeks for oral test. Final exam is on the 3rd of November... marking and finalising students' result and finally peaceful Ramadhan... only 3 classes left until raya.

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Just wanna say....

+ A friend of mine has decided to live in a 'cave' all by himself. I respect his decision.

+ I almost cry....... of laughing after hearing one funny story from a friend.

+ A call from a friend really changed my mood. How strong a friend's influence can be....

+ I try to be nice to a friend but must it always be me?

+ I have a good friend, whom I never met, but I feel at ease talking to or chatting with her.

Friends in need are friends in deed.... I can relate to that... but I hate losing a friend for some reasons I detest. A friend of mine gave me this advise, that I dont have to feel down because, I'm not losing a friend, he/she lost me as his/her friend. But I strongly believe that being a friend is not only through talking, writing etc, it can be just the rememberance, knowing that he/she will always has a place in my heart, as a friend. How hard could it be?

There you go... I've said it!!!!

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

gain another year of my life, alhamdulillah. This morning, as I sat on a prayer mat after subuh, I kept thinking about what I have achieved in years that I lived and what should I achieve in years to come. I feel blessed with the happines granted to me, and I realise that things which once, I thought were causing me sorrow and hurt, in fact are silent helpers... they teach me how to be strong, how to be bold, how to be patient and most importantly, they teach me how to think rationally.

Abang got me a little present. Thanx dear...


Little Reunion

Last night, I went dining with a friend of mine, Wie. She came down from KL on her way back to KB. We had a wonderful dinner at Phuket Restaurant, one of the best restaurant offering a variety of Malay cuisines. Lots of catching up. Since abang said "seganlah nak ikut, pergilah dengan diaorang" so Wie and another friend, Aniz had to fetch me... thanx for the ride dear. Splendid dinner, splendid moment. We invited our coursemate, but she had an errand to to last night. Takperlah kan.. lain kali ada peluang lain.


Puking my guts out

Things done cannot be undone.... understatement of the century !!! I really hate dealing with people with little or no sense of respect. But then.. I can't change what they already are.... so it is not an understatement at all *sigh*

Really depressing feeling, specially when the feeling comes today... on my birthday!!! But as usual, I think of it as 'another person passing by, accidently bumping on me, I'll feel a little bit depress but he'll be gone eventually' if anyone knows what I mean..... but what the heck.. I'll just smile and things will get better. I won't let little things ruin my day. That is the spirit Angah!!!

Happy birthday to me...

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Splendid wet weekend, can't even do the laundry. It can wait eheh.. Since it is a lobster season here, abang went for lobster hunting, he managed to catch some and sent it to a restaurant to be cooked. So we had fresh lobsters tomyam for dinner, heaven.

Watched Anugerah Era 2003 half way through... very boringlah. I still can't figure out the fanatics' function other than terkinja2 whenever a song being sung. But I didn't miss Jat (Black Dog Bone) sang the famous Gadis Ayu.. "gadis ayu, lesung pipit dipipi... ayu senyummu menawan" His voice is superb... I wish we have 1 or 2 singers with that kind of voice quality. A bit funny, at least for me to hear Ning's speech last night... yeah, her first award, it was her night after all *wink*

MUET is around the corner, I'll be a time keeper for oral test this time... easy job and easy money though boring it will be. I hope they'll try their best. The problem with our students is that they are quite good in writing, listening and reading but not in speaking. We've tried our best to help them, It's up to them now.

My mum is coming next week for my sister's in law engagement. Noni is very excited, not to see me but to mandi manda at the beach. I'd probably bring her to Teluk Chempedak or Balok. Just afraid bout the weather, might not be on our side. Promised mum to bring her to taste sata and otak2. Mesti best..

I might be driving to work for about 2 weeks, since abang will be busy with a new company's project he just got. I just hope I don't have to drive.. *crossing my fingers*

I'm off for classes.......... chow

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There are times when we need to be alone, just by ourselves, doing everything we like or nothing at all. But only some of us have the pleasure of doing that. It seems that we are losing our right as individuals these days. Being in a relationship doesn't mean that we have to sacrify our personal likings. People say, share your likings with your partner, that is one way of getting a chance of doing things you like, I admit that. But personally, I prefer doing one or two things I enjoy by myself. Keeps me in check with my sanity. Lucky me to have a husband who understands me, understands my need to be alone once in a while.

The little one has started practicing his/her full kicks and nudges, after finishing his/her fluttering movements. Last month only mama felt it, but now papa can feel it with his hand too. Nice feeling.

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Rain and more rain for the past 3 days. Not that I'm complaining. But imagine my situation... raining outside, and I'm sitting in the air conditioned room, I wish I were on my bed. Soooooo sleeepylah...

I remember, a long time ago, whenever it rain, me and my brother will dig out tapioca my mother planted. Rebus then makan ngan ikan kering... yeah, don't forget the coffee.. hmmmm heaven. I wonder do kids nowadays know the pleasure of eating boiled tapioca with salty fish and hot coffee during rain. Ubi rebus pun tak kenal agaknya.

I received a wonderful news today. A very good friend of mine will be someone's soul mate in a matter of months. I wish you all the best my friend. I know you'l be a good life partner. I'll be there on your big day insyaallah.

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A Picture worth thousand words

I was searching for some documents last night, when I found a picture of 19 years old me... I looked different. More 'excess baggage' eheh. Showed it to abang, he just smiled. Hmm... where was I when I was 19? I was in my second year in Matriculation Centre, enjoying life. Busy with co-curricular activities and on my way to maturity... erkk.. I guess.

I always take a picture on my birthdays, Started it 10 years ago, after seeing my uncle doing it. Hard evidence of ageing process... There are 'chubby angah' in her late teens, 'cengkung angah' on her 22nd birthday, 'boyish angah' during her involvement in sports etc 'tanned angah', 'fairer angah', the list goes on.

Each picture has its own story, its own memory. It's a long 1 year story of a person named angah. I'll do it again this year and years to come... I already prepare the name of this year picture, 'the ewoks like angah'...

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Reminiscence of Old Times

Second week of October. Lesser work as semester ends, alhamdulillah. Ramadhan is just around the corner, second year as wife, third year without my late father. Kinda miss him. I miss the sight of him sitting at the porch, with his ciggarette and a mug of coffee, watching us playing firecrackers, telling us to be carefull. I miss the aroma of cakes and cookies he bakes for raya. Most of all I miss the pat on the back he always gives whenever we speak. Yeah, we seldom talk when he was alive but we spent a quality time together though short it may be.

He passed away peacefully on my mother's lap on the 14th day of Syawal, 2 months before my engagement. Abang only met him twice. I know my mother still misses him, I can tell from the way she speaks, the way she keeps my father's belongings, the constant reminder for us to pray for him after our prayers, the tears she shed after every prayer. I know your feeling mum.... we love him too. We held kenduri tahlil last week for him and our late sister.

I remember, our little sister Noni... she used to ask us, Who will take care of him there since we are all here? We said, Kak Fatimah is there, she will take care of him for us. She looked satisfy with our answer. Mum just smiled, teary eyes... we'll take care of you mum as we always do...

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Last night was great. I spent some time at The Esplanade (a waterfront park in Kuantan) I'm not sure about the name though. We were on the way to Giant, when abang decided to try his luck, he got very excited to see ramai kaki pancing were already there. So we parked our car, me... armed with 2 slices of honeydew, a slice of papaya and 2 packets of mangga muda.. sat on one of the benches, watching him fishing, casting style. We got ourselves ikan siakap.. weighing about 1 to 2 kilo. So it will be ikan siakap masam manis treat tonight eheh.

Did some shoppings at Giant. Already 10pm when we reached there. Bought myself some blouses for work. Good bargain. Oh.. I received a parcel from Sony... yeahaa!! they sent me a walkman for being the first 300 members to answer a product evaluation last month.

My students are excited to see me in meternity dress. Started wearing it this week. Can't seem to fit in any of my baju kurung anymore.

I fail to understand why some people like to do things the hard way, complicating things which are actually simple, and can't accept people's idea... no matter how good it is.. hmmm.

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I'm back!!!! busy weekend but worth the efforts. But.. I'll spare you the details. The kenduri went well. Everybody was pleased. I was happy, to have a chance of meeting my relatives. Lama tak jumpa since I moved to Kuantan. I remember saying my grandmother will be great granny again. I remember saying 3 of my cousins are expecting. During the kenduri, I found out that 5 of my cousins are actually expecting. So there'll be 6 newborns... hoorrah

Have to key in students' attendance.. chow

So many things to do in so little time. Tutorials to mark, documents to file, attendance to count, analysis and question papers to submit, the list goes on. and I'm whining like nobody's business. Is there any work without due dates out there?

Got on line with fellow gejuis just before lunch. We discussed things about interviews and choices of life, 2 unrelated topics but what the heck. I went through few interviews. Once, the interviewer asked me, " what will you be, in 5 years time, if we offer you the job?" Me, attending the interview for the thrill of it, not actually wanting the job answered " I'll be sitting where you sit, doing things you do... only better" I got the job, called the company, said thanx and turned the offer down.

It is hard to choose between 2 important things in life. Things we cherish equally.. the irony.. choosing is not a choise, it's a must. Who says life is easy?

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Some things better left unsaid, some would say. But what if those things keep bothering you? Just a thought after an incident last week. It has been a while since my last entry. Busy, that is the lamest excuse I could give. The truth is, I seem to lose my touch in writing. I dont feel like writing. I dont have that drive to keep me writing. But not bad enough to make me say good bye to this blog. This month marks the first birthday of this blog. A friend gave birth to it, I just responsible to takes care of it. Thanx dear friend.

I'm going back to Klang this week. Take 2 days off for a wedding ceremony my mum hosts. By the way, it's the wedding of my sister's in law brother. I've finished making some bunga telur and souvenirs for guests. Just have to decorate the pelamin and the room on Saturday. Abang, well.. he'll be in his favourite department of course.. jabatan basuh pinggan eheh.. Ita will be back too. Last time I met her was in May. Can't wait to see her new look.

Workwise, final exam is around the corner. I've finished marking, I bet some students will come to my office with the same question. "Puan, kenapa carry mark saya rendah sangat, saya hantar semua tugasan" I will give them the same answer "setakat hantar tapi tak ikut spesifikasi, tak ikut due date, itulah markah yang awak dapat"

Got to taste a very delicious tamar from Mecca. Thanx Kak Iza. And I just found out how weak my arabic has become. heeeeelllllppppp...

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I was on my back the whole day yesterday, thanx to the cold and the cough and the headaches. My nose bled, my vision blurred.. oh my.. how I hated the feeling, the uneasiness. Luckily, I have a great 'nurse'. Back to work today, still dizzy thus my classes today would be the most part, signing attendance. That would take about 10 minutes.

Abang got an appointment letter from Malaysia National Cycling Federation (MNCF). Yup, he'll be flying to Sabah for Tour de Borneo 2003, scheduled in December. It'll be in the middle of semester break, but I can't go...ruginyerr iskh.. iskh.. Can't involve in Le Tour De Langkawi next year either... double rugi. Masa tu tunggu hari dah.

My condolence to Kak Iza, on the demise of her beloved mother in law. Al-Fatihah.

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Campur - campur

Sukan Remaja Pahang minggu lepas memenatkan aku. Tapi aku puas dapat juga involve dengan sesuatu yang aku minat, events management. Aku seperti biasa ler, ditugaskan di bahagian teknikal - result. Dapatlah juga tambah2 duit saku dengan elaun yang diberi.

Hujung minggu yang santai. Melepas lelah di rumah sepanjang hari Ahad. Abang ke Taman Pertanian untuk 'race haram' katanya. Dah selesai tugas Sukan Remaja, dia dan memember teknikal pulak turun berkayuh di trek mountain bike - cross country. Basikal aku jugak yang bersalut lumpur.

'Pirates of Carribean' hmm.. menarik juga ceritanya. Aku suka lakonan Johnny Depp yang bersahaja. Orlando Bloom lebih hensem sebagai Legolas dalam Lord of the Rings eheh. Special effect part tukar jadi tengkorak then jadi orang tuh best, the transition is very smooth, cuma cam tak logik jer cahaya bulan tuh terang cam sport light. Apapun cerita dia ok lah. Aku lebih suka kalau masa ending tuh si Will pergi jadi lanun jugak.

Terpandang 3 pasang pengantin baru masa aku ke Megamall malam tadi. Saja berjalan2 mencari apa yang patut untuk si kecil. Inai merah ditangan dan kaki, kira romantik habislah... baru2 kahwin kan. Kalau boleh nak bekepit 24 jam. Memang jadi perhatian ler. Cuma yang kurang menarik... (ni boleh kira mengumpat ke?) si isteri tuh, aku assume isteri ler sbb nampak inai kan... pakaiannya amatlah tak sesuai dengan title isteri dan menantu. Jeans ketat separas betis dengan singlet ketat menampakkan perut. Sekejap2 tarik ke bawah. Dah kalau nak sangat pakai baju pendek.. tak payah ler tarik2. Kesian aku tengok... bayangkanlah beban digalas suami dek perangai isteri. Tegur2lah para isteri tu.... nak melawa boleh tapi biarlah kena pada tempatnya.

Sekarang nih aku kira addicted ngan cerita Orang Gaji 41 kat TV3. Memang klass lakonan Elly Suriaty. Dengan loghat dan costume dia tuh. Aku masih menunggu kalau2 Erra Fazira nak pegang watak camtuh. Kalau takpun jadi isteri yang susah kehidupannya membanting tulang untuk kehidupan. Minus the make-up, big bikes, fancy clothes etc. Boleh tak dia bawa watak tuh agaknya. Dalam soal hati dan soalnya siapa pun dia masih dibayangi watak perempuan kelas atasan. Tengok Elly Suriaty, Umi Aida dan beberapa lagi.. kalau pegang watak orang kampung memang cam orang kampung. Salute...

Tahniah untuk sahabat

- G-Ja and Jack atas pertunangan mereka. Semoga dipanjangkan jodoh.
- Paidi dan Rafidah atas perkahwinan mereka. Semoga kekal jodoh.
- Kak Iza yang telah selamat menjalankan ibadah umrah.
- Syita yang bakal jadi ibu.

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Kebelakangan ni tahap sensitiviti aku dah nak sampai ke tahap nirvana. Benda kecik pun aku boleh hangin. Orang tak tolong aku hangin, orang tolong pun aku hangin juga. Aku tak suka betul rasa camnih. Selalu rasa hangin pastu nak marah, nak masam muka, nak naik suara, nak hempas semua benda. Agaknya kena duduk dalam gua aku nih... Ya Allah, peliharalah aku dari perbuatan sia-sia... Amin.

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Kelantan : a short trip

Otakku perlu direndam sebab dah kering idea untuk menulis. Makin lama aku rasa blog ni cam private diary pulak... cuma apa yang aku buat sehari hari hmm.. tu yang agak lama tak update tuh (alasan?)

Balik dari Kelantan.. sampai rumah pukul 2 pagi. Takde apa pun yang sempat aku beli, cuma sehelai kain pasang. Aku dapat hadiah daripada teman sekerja, sehelai maternity dress yang bersulam cantik, harga pun murah jer di pasar Siti Khadijah tu. Bila balik Kubang Kerian nanti boleh ajak abang datang sini.

Aku suka keadaan di pasar Siti Khadijah ni. Rata2 peniaganya wanita baik yang anak dara atau yang dah berkeluarga. Ramah melayan pelanggan. Barang kemas mereka boleh juga menjulingkan mata eheh. Tawar menawar tu perkara biasa tapi kalau yang boleh kecek kelate tuh ada kelebihan ler. Biasalah, mereka tahu kita ni pelawat dan pelawat mesti bawa banyak duit untuk berbelanja kan. Perkara yang sama di Langkawi pun.

Pada sapa2 yang tak pernah samapi kat pasar nih, kalau datang KB jangan lupa singgah ler. Betul2 tengah bandar, bersebelahan dengan Pasar Kubu. Ada 3 tingkat. Tingkat 1 barangan basah cam sayur, buah etc. Tingkat 2 barangan kering dan tingkat 3 syurga wanita ler eheh.. baju, tudung kain, etc.

Aku spent dalam sejam jer dalam tuh. Sesuatu yang menarik, depan pasar tu ada kawasan lapang, depan dataran KB tuh... Masa aku lalau nak ke pasar dalam pukul 5 petang, tempat tuh lapang jer, aku lalu semula lepas sejam, kawasan tuh dah penuh dengan gerai makan, bukan baru nak mula niaga tau.. dah ramai pelanggan makan pun. Memang efficient. Makanan cam nasi campur, nasi kerabu etc tak dihidang dalam pinggan tapi dibungkus. Bukan untuk ditapau bawa balik, pelanggan masih makan disitu. Baguskan.... tak payah penat2 cuci pinggan mangkuk.

Bila waktu maghrib tiba.. yang ni lagi aku respect. Kawasan tu lengang. Semua berduyun pergi sembahyang. Peniaga boleh jer tinggalkan barangan jualan mereka tanpa rasa risau. Satu ciri yang aku rasa cuma ada di Kelantan jer. Citer kat pak mertua aku, senyum jer dia.

Workwise, kursus train the trainers yang aku ikuti tuh cam dulu jugakler, cuma ada sedikit pengubahsuaian silibus.


Rencam

+ Aku habiskan hujung minggu dengan berehat di rumah. Sempat menghadiri majlis sambut menantu Ame dan Izzat di Kuantan nih. Cantik ler warna baju pengantin....

+ Emak call semalam, pakcik aku meninggal dunia, sakit batu karang. Al-Fatihah. Aku tak dapat balik. Cuma sempat call makcik aku ucap takziah.

+ Ita, adik aku pulak call dari JB. Dah lama dia batuk.. itu aku tau. Pergi klinik dan doktor suspek batuk kering (TB). Ya Allah, terkejut aku. Aku call abang aku dan suruh dia ke JB bawak Ita balik. Kalau positif, biar dia dirawat di hospital yang dekat dengan rumah. Kalau negatif, biar dia rehat di rumah. Aku akan usahakan juga dia dapat MC seminggu dua. Kesian adik aku.

+ Semalam ada lawatan kualiti dari UTM datang. Seperti biasalah, semua pengajar kena menyerah diri, membawa fail subjek untuk dipersembahkan kepada deligasi tuh. Ok jer. Sempat beri demo perlaksanaan sistem maklumat pelajar, sistem pemarkahan, sistem kehadiran, sistem pendaftaran subjek etc.

+ Sukan Remaja Pahang 2003 dah bermula. Sukan untuk cungkil bakat ke SUKMA di N 9 thn depan. Aku urusetia teknikal lumba basikal. Macam biasa kerja aku untuk sediakan communique (borang2, maklumat2, keputusan2) perlumbaan. Sebelah petang dan malam jer kerja aku. Malam tadi dah bersengkang mata menyediakan senarai mula, pelumba, borang keputusan etc untuk acara ujian masa untuk hari nih. Abang ketua komisar kali nih. CAY aku jadi kereta KOM 1 sebab ada sun roof. Takler ketua komisar kena bertenggek kat tingkap keter untuk pantau perjalanan perlumbaan.

Banyak giler aku tulis ek...

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Sampai ke Kuantan pukul 5.30 petang. Seperti yang aku jangka, jalan menuju ke Kuala Lumpur memang sesak. Kat Karak jer jam dekat 4 kilometer... tak bergerak kereta... kat Temerloh, kat Maran... aku cukup bersyukur sebab melawan arus. Seronok juga tengok gelagat pengguna jalan raya, yang berhenti dibahu jalan membeli buah terutama rambutan dan durian... aku rasa nak nyampaikan ke destinasi mau habis rambutan yang dibeli eheh... tak pun lemas dek bau durian yang mencucuk hidung.

Balik kampung kali ni memang seronok. banyak benda yang aku borakkan dengan emak, banyak benda yang aku buat ngan Noni. Sempat juga rewang kat rumah jiran sebelah. Dapat menantu sulunglah katakan... semuanya dibuat besar besaran.

Aku memenuhi jemputan teman serumah masa belajar dulu ke majlis walimah mereka. Serentak pulak kedua2nya. Tahniah buat Ame dan Izzat.... tahniah juga buat Adlina dan Azmy. They both were so lovely.... so pretty.

Angah doakan jodoh berkekalan, murah rezeki. Memang best.... dapat pulak jumpa coursemate yang lain. Kiranya sekarang ni majlis perkahwinan memember dah jadi majlis reunion. Apapun aku happy. Lepas nih boleh konvoi balik ke Klang Ame ek.... :)

Petang ni aku akan ke Kota Bharu, ada kursus Training of Trainers untuk Skim Latihan Graduan, anjuran PSMB. Takper, naik bas SUK selesa sikit. Nak balik packing baju... chow..

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Badan aku di sini, hati aku dah melayang ke rumah, tak sabar menunggu esok, nak balik ke kampung berjumpa emak dan Noni. Sabarlah hati.....

Selasa Lepas, majlis graduasi berjalan lancar. Tugas pun dapat aku sempurnakan dengan agak baik. Cuma... biasalah sok sek.. sok sek selepas majlis. Pada aku, boleh saja nak berbunyi tapi biarlah melalui saluran yang betul dan dikuatkan pula dengan fakta, bukan sekadar pendapat kosong sebab tak puas hati.

Happy aku dapat tengok student menerima sijil masing2. Terasa berbaloi tenaga yang dicurah untuk mendidik mereka. Ucapan terima kasih selepas majlis berakhir umpama hadiah yang sangat berharga buat aku. Mungkin kawan2 yang bergelar pengajar setuju dengan aku...

Bila musim2 cuti umum begini aku selalu bersyukur sebab aku berasal dari Malaysia Tengah ( KL dan Selangor) sebab setiap kali nak balik kampung tak perlu risau sangat tentang perjalanan. Dulu masa belajar, rumah dekat ngan kampus, nikmat Allah untuk aku... Sekarang ni lepas settle down pun aku bersyukur sebab aku akan melawan arus bila balik kampung (Klang).

Tahun lepas, dalam perjalanan balik ke Kuantan, masa tu cuti Merdeka juga, jalan menghala ke Kuala Lumpur amatlah sesak.. dekat 10 kilometer kenderaan merangkak2 di Karak. Perjalanan aku alhamdulillah, lancar saja. Begitu jugalah masa nak balik raya ke, apa ke.... Kalau nak rasa sesak pun lepas Jalan Kuching dan Jalan Duta sampailah ke tol sebab orang nak balik ke Utara. Selain tuh ok jer.

Selamat menyambut Ulangtahun Kemerdekaan yang ke-46, Fikirlah cara sambutan bagaimana yang kita inginkan, terkinja mengira count down selepas konsert?, memenuhkan restoran, karaoke dan menyanyi lagu merdeka?, duduk2 saja dirumah bersama keluarga? keputusan ditangan kita... tepuk dada tanya iman.

Cuma aku masih bertanya diri sendiri..... apa yang merdekanya aku ni? apa yang merdekanya tempat aku lahir dan tinggal ni? Aku masih berhutang, masih menurut perintah tanpa boleh bersuara, tempat aku ni masih bergantung pada tampat lain, masih mengagung tempat lain.... Entah.. aku masih takde jawapan untuk soalan yang satu ini.

Mungkin aku juga salah seekor kakak tua, cuma pandai mengajuk tapi bukan bercakap... kalian bagaimana?

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Merdeka! Merdeka!

"Kami ni, perintis kemerdekaan ibarat buruh binaan. Membina bangunan tinggi bertingkat-tingkat, cantik, tapi tak ada peluang untuk tinggal di dalamnya. Beginilah hidup saya. Masih hidup dibawah pohon getah, saya redha dengan what is given by God"

"Kamilah yang merintis jalan merdeka, menebas semak samun di depan, dan orang belakang kami senang berjalan di laluan yang bersih"


Kata-kata yang aku petik daripada Majalah Tiga Sabtu lepas, dituturkan oleh bekas anggota Angkatan Pemuda Insaf (API), aku lupa pulak nama pakcik tu. Aku hayati setiap kata2nya, memang mengharukan. Perjuangan anak watan sepertinya, yang berjuang bukan dengan arus perdana, tak mendapat pengiktirafan yang sepatutnya.

Aku juga tertarik dengan sebutan bahasa Inggerisnya yang begitu bagus. Memang penguasaan Bahasa Inggeris tradisi terdahulu amat baik berbanding sekarang. Memang Queen English.

Aku teringat cerita abang tentang Mat Kilau, pahlawan Melayu yang terbilang satu ketika dahulu. Berjuang menentang penjajah dengan caranya yang tak diterima pemerintah pada masa itu. Lepas merdeka, dia membawa diri, merahsiakan identiti dirinya hinggalah pada saat2 akhir hidupnya. Dia membuka lipatan sejarah. baru orang tahu Mat Kilau yang terkenal itu meneruskan kehidupannya dengan menjadi pengukir batu nesan di Kuantan ni. Hebohlah sekejap media dengan berita ekslusif beberapa hari, lepas tu senyap sunyi. Kekal sebuah surau dengan namanya. Mat Kilau tak juga kaya sampai akhir hayatnya. Tak pula dapat gelaran datuk walau sumbangannya besar.

Itu baru Mat Kilau, ramai lagi pejuang sebenar yang berjuang dengan semangat jitu tanpa perlu ganjaran. Tapi kerana berjuang dengan cara sendiri, kebanyakan mereka ni tak langsung dapat pengiktirafan yang sepatutnya. Bukanlah sampai diarak, dijulang, at least bagilah some token of appreciation.

Tapi sekarang ni, buat sajalah sesuatu yang pelik, yang agak2 besar dimata masyarakat, mesti dapat sesuatu, dapat sanjungan, dapat gelaran, macam2 lagi ler. Bukan aku menidakkan usaha mereka2 ni tapi, apalah sangat kalau nak dibandingkan dengan usaha mereka2 yang aku sebutkan tadi. Yang hasil usaha mereka itu kita yang rasa, kita yang tuai.

Aku suka tengok iklan berunsur kemerdekaan. Setakat ni yang paling best Petronas ler. Personally, aku suka iklan MAS beberapa tahun lepas. Dulu juga kebanyakan syarikat koporat buat iklan2 bentuk begini. Tapi sekarang dah takde. Kenapa ek? Bebaru nih iklan berbentuk nak meningkatkan kesedaran.... alasan tak naikkan bendera dan sebaliknya. Bagus juga... salah satu usaha pupuk nilai patriotisme.

Aku juga sering dengar lagu2 yang barbau patriotisme ni. Personally aku rasa lagu2 nih ketinggalan zaman. Aku pelik juga dalam pada pencipta lagu ghairah mencipta lagu2 komersial, kenapa sebilangan kecil jer yang nak mencipta lagu2 patriotisme? kenapa aku kata ketinggalan zaman.... sebab rentaknya mesti rentak march (cam berkawad) pastu lirik mesti straight forward. Contohnya kalau nak citer pasal kemerdekaan ke 46, mesti masuk lirik merdeka kali ke 46 kat mana2. Pernah dengar lagu Sukan Sea? Camtu jugak, "la la la la.. sukan sea ke 16 di Malaysia" Aku masih tunggu ada lagu yang cuma membawa mesej patriotisma atau apa saja mesej melalui kata2 indah, dan melodi yang menikkan semangat. Pernah dengar lagu tema sukan Olimpik di Atlanta, nyanyian Gloria Estefan? takde pun sebut langsung pasal atlit berkumpul, sukan kat mana, ke berapa etc.. tapi kita dapat rasa semangat kesukanan tu melalui bait2 lirik yang disampaikan. Melodi pun best, meremang bulu roma.


Anugerah Skrin

Aku layan juga anugerah skrin kali ni. Keputusan memang dijangka ler. Aku kira puas hati. Tapi tak meriah langsung. Tak nampak grandnyer majlis tuh. Aku rasa rakaman senario lagi ramai penonton eheh. Yang aku rasa over, pemenang yang pakai stail cleopatra tuh.... siap nangis2 lagik masa ditemu bual, kelako pun ada. Yang makan chewing gum masa amik anugerah.. come on ler, takkan tak tau dia ada kat mana masa tuh kan. Ogy cam biasa over tak bertempat. nampak galak sangat, cam tak sesuai plak ngan dressing yang sopan tuh.Sedap jer dia melaser mamat muka putih tuh.... Pengarah untuk filem terbaik masih melepas geram, marah tak habis.... "harap dapat menebus maruah filem E***n"

Kalau nak tengok flaws memang banyak, tapi sebagai wadah mengangkat filrm dan telefilem tempatan, aku rasa dah kira berjaya lah. Apapun memang best tengok semalam, sambil makan mangga muda cecah ngan 'colek' (pencicah) yang abang buat. Thanx dear.


Convocation

Esok akan berlangsung majlis graduasi pelajar tempat aku cari rezeki nih. Petang nih ada rehearsal. Hopefully semua berjalan lancar. Kerja aku esok, berdiri sebelah MC dari Jabatan Penerangan untuk bagi cue bila masa nak mula bercakap sebab ada presentation untuk setiap segmen. Oklah.. kerja simple. Aku nak pergi Dewan Jubli Perak, Kuantan nih.... chow...

---

Nothing much to say except that I'm bored to death. Oh yes... I got so many things to do in so little time, but my mind refused to compute the fact. There are some other things bothering me. Enuf said.

Called mum this morning, just wanted to say hi actually. Lots of info from her about things happening at hometown. Noni, my little sister, passed her exam with flying colours, no 1 in her class. I'll buy her baju Vietnam she wanted badly.

Another great news, starting February next year, my grandmother will be great granny again, well.....not one more time but 5 more times. Yup.....4 of my cousins are expecting too. 1 in February, 2 in March and 2 in April.

My mum will host a wedding next month, 28/9. My sister's in law brother is getting married. He has no place to call home since their parents passed away, so my mum volunteered. I have to prepare the decor, bunga telur and souvenirs. Easy job eheh.. I think of extending the invitation to Geng Jurnal. Just think of it as another 'Ronggeng' only this time, I'll sponsor the food and the canopy.... and the best thing of all is that.. there'll be me hahahahahaha..... didn't I say just now.. I'm bored? hmph.....

---

Spent my weekend on bed. Very bad headache plus fever. Went to clinic and the Doc said I was in need of a rest. There I was... on my back for 2 straight days. Had to cancel our reservation *sigh*

More pills to swallow and I lost my appetite as well. But heck.. whining like I never experience fever before. I'll stop whining now. Yeaterday, I walked into my office determine to hold clas, but I failed to do so. *background sound - students cheer hoooorrraaayyyy* I didn't have the energy to speak. I just sat on my chair doing some documentations but my eyes failed me. So I just sat.

On a lighter note, my sister's in law engagement plan will resume though at first we thought it'll be postponed. It's gonna be busy september for the family.

Workwise, next week on the 26th August, we'll be holding our graduation ceremony. Pahang Menteri Besar is coming so...... we can't avoid dealing with people and more people, going through the pain staking red tapes and what not... at times we feel like " who's programme is this anyway, ours or theirs? " At this moment we rather work with papers and more papers.... just one more question.. what is with them and strict protocol? I wonder do they have rules for everything? wait... that's already 2 questions.. I'll stop mumbling now.


Dear anonymous friend, thanx for your SMS this morning. What a bad person I am, I cant recall the number. Anyway, we both thank you for the wish.

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Demam Exam..

Minggu lepas dan minggu depan merupakan minggu exam bebudak kat tempat aku nih. Jadinya minggu ni tangan2 kami nih lenguh ler menanda kertas ujian student. Bila dah banyak skrip jawapan dan masa juga agak terhad jadi memacam benda yang lucu berlaku.

Akak seofis ngan aku nih best. Dalam pada menanda kertas, dia dapat satu skrip yang sangat baik. Takde salah langsung jawapan budak tu. Sekali dah separuh kertas ditanda baru terperasan kertas tu ialah kertas skema jawapan. Dia cerita dan kami gelak beriya. Sorry ek kak... kelako ler. Lenkali tak gelak lagi.


Al-Fatihah

Baru tadi kami dapat email, staff yang mederita sakit buah pinggang, yang aku pernah ceritakan dalam entri aku bebaru nih telah kembali ke rahmatullah, dalam sejam yang lepas. Setiap yang hidup pastikan mati. Cuma aku terkilan, dia yang sepatutnya menjalani rawatan hemodialisis setiap minggu tak berbuat demikian. Tapi sudah dijanjikan, masa untuk dia telah sampai. Al-Fatihah untuk saudara Ramli dan takziah pada isteri dan 2 anak yang ditinggalkan. Semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat.. Amin

Salam hujung minggu, aku nak berehat di Terengganu minggu ni. Mungkin ke Tanjung Jara. Ada sesiapa nak belanja makan nasi dagang?

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Sekali lagi?

Sakit tekak aku, kelas 4 jam direct. Tapi dah tugas, kena buat dengan senyuman eheh. Lepas kelas aku lepak kat library kejap, baca paper. Seorang juruterbang wanita TUDM meninggal dunia selepas pesawat yang dipandunya terhempas di sebuah ladang getah. Sedih pulak aku baca berita tu. Rasa boleh bayang perasaan dia masa menghadapi situasi tu. Innalillahi wainnailaihi roji'un. Ada juga dipaparkan tragedi yang berlaku sebelum tu, yang melibatkan pesawat yang sama.

Dah selalu sangat benda camni berlaku, pesawat2 kita kebanyakannya dah tak digunakan pun di tempat lain. Dah terlalu lama khidmatnya. Pesawat lama, tentu banyak kekurangannya. Ini satu sebab saja, mungkin ada faktor lain. Aku bukan pakar. Belajar daripada kesilapan, kesilapan dah banyak, bila kita nak belajar?


Makan-Makan

Malam tadi aku masak simple jer. Abang mintak masakkan ayam masak lemak cili padi. Maka aku pun memasakler, tambah dengan ayam goreng ummi's style, sayur petola aku celur jer, dan sambal belacan mangga muda. Kebetulan pak mertua aku ada dirumah malam tadi. Maka mereka anak beranak makan ler bersama. It was very interesting to see the resemblance eheh. Senang nak tackle selera pak mertua aku sebab sama jer ngan abang. Seronok tengok dia menambah.....

Aku jarang makan sebelah malam sekarang. Cuma makan biskut atau roti ngan air milo atau susu. Rasa bloated plak makan makanan berat. Janji tak lapar sudah ler.


Rambang mataku ini

Kalau semalam aku cerita pasal rambang mata tengok cat keter yang cantik, hari ni aku nak cerita betapa rambangnya mata aku menengok perabot kayu. Aku nak cari kerusi malas sebenarnya, tapi mengada2 tak nak yang biasa. Nak yang kayu, the one with feet rest tuh. So petang semalam aku pi ler survey harga. Ok jugaklah tak ler semahal yang aku jangkakan. Tapi kalau dah masuk kedai perabot tuh, being a woman ler plak, nampak jer benda yang berkenan, boleh jer terus pikir nak letak kat mana eheh... he gave me that look and I immediately knew my house couldn't afford any more furniture. jadi aku cuma dapat satu kerusi malas. Thanx dear.

---

Tahniah! Tahniah! Tahniah!

Hari ni aku dapat tau 2 coursemate aku masa belajar dulu bakal jadi ibu, kedua2nya due April tahun depan. Congratulations to Nida & Azis and Nana & Azlan.

Aku juga dapat tahu 2 lagi coursemate yang juga merangkap housemate aku akan memasuki gerbang perkahwinan pada 31 Ogos nih. Kedua-dua majlis di Klang, kebetulan pula aku nak balik hujung minggu tu, bolehlah hadiri kedua2nya insyaallah. Aku akan jumpa 2 pengantin baru dan 2 bakal ibu, campur pulak dengan yang lenlain dan ia akan jadi re-union BENdits yang keberapa kali ek?

Dan aku juga akan dapat sebalang tempoyak yang diimport khas dari dusun sahabat baik aku eheh. Special delivery ada extra charge ke? *wink* eheh...


CAY 8386

Minggu lepas lampu amaran kat dash board berkelip-kelip. Lampu tu kata kat aku, sensor bagitau kat dia, pad brake dah nipis, kena ganti. Maka aku pun ikut cakap lampu tuh, gantilah pad brake yang baru. Selamatlah poket dan insyaalah selamatlah aku dalam pemanduan.

2 - 3 bulan lepas meter kat dashboard bagitau aku, timing belt dah kena ganti, maka aku ikut juga kata meter, aku gantikan juga... selamat poket abang eheh dan insyaalah selamat pemanduan aku...

Semalam abang bawa balik contoh cat keter yang terbaru, fikiran aku bagitau, cantik sungguh kereta aku kalau bersalut warna tuh, tapi aku masih tak boleh ikut kata fikiran aku sebab poket aku masih nipis, dan warna kereta aku sekarang tak membahayakan pemanduan.....

Lenkali ler aku tukar kaler keter tuh. Warna yang ni pun baru beberapa bulan umurnya, masih tak hilang lenguh ditangan pekerja abang mengecat keter aku eheh....

---

Banyak yang berlaku dalam masa seminggu aku tak update nih. selain sibuk dengan tugas yang dah semakin bertambah, banyak juga benda yang mendatang, yang kena juga dihadapi.

Selasa lepas, lepas maghrib abang dapat call, mak mertua aku terlibat dalam kemalangan di gong Kapas Terengganu. Aku dan abang terus ke Kuala Terengganu, ambil emergency leave 2 hari. sampai kat sana, pi hospital dan tengok keadaan ummi. Alhamdulillah, menurut doktor, kecederaan ummi tak parah, cuma ummi masih terkejut. Kami check in di hotel dan berehat. aku di Terengganu selama 2 hari untuk temankan ummi. Cadang nak transfer ke Kuantan tapi doktor tak galakkan sebab kepala ummi cedera. Adik2 abang menyusul ke KT hari berikutnya. Buat giliran. Aku sampai rumah petang Khamis, lepas sembahyang isyak, terus tidur. Letih sungguh rasanya.

Semalam aku menghadiri majlis pengtauliahan tenaga penggerak BTN Pahang. Maka, tugas hujung minggu akan bermula lepas ni. Ini jerlah bakti yang boleh aku tabur untuk tolong anak bangsa aku. yang aku tengok dah makin hanyut. Tapi nak start pun pertengahan tahun depan ler. Aku dah tak larat :)

Aku sampai rumah dalam pukul 2.30 petang. Adik ipar aku pulak sampaikan berita sedih. Bakal ibu dan bapa mertuanya meninggal dunia akibat kemalangan jalan raya di Temerloh. Maknanya majlis pertunangan dan perkahwinan yang patutnya berlangsung bulan depan dan ujung tahun ni akan ditunda. Dalam pukul 4 lebih dia dan ayah bertolak ke Lanchang. Aku cuma kirim salam takziah saja. Teringat pulak masa aku nak bertunang dulu. Dalam pada buat perancangan, ayah aku meninggal dunia, dan aku bertunang lepas 100 hari ayah pergi. Rindunya aku pada ayah....
Minggu ni aku santai sikit. Student cuti pertengahan semester. Dapatlah aku menyiapkan rekod pengajaran, dokumentasi bahan pengajaran, kemaskini rekod kehadiran etc.. etc...

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Hari Beruniform

Mulai hari ini, semer staf diwajibkan memakai uniform rasmi organisasi pada setiap hari Isnin. Maka dengan berat hatinya aku pun menyarung uniform. Memang nampak kelakar eheh. Student pakai pakaian biasa, aku pulak yang pakai uniform. Tapi bila semua dah pakai nampak ok pulak. Alah bisa tegal biasa kan. Benda pelik kalau dah selalau berlaku akan dianggap normal jugak (adakah aku bercakap pasal uniform?) Abang senyum jer tengok aku pagi nih. Pelik katanya. Pelik pun pelik lah bang...


Weekend wrap-up

Aku tak kemana weekend lepas, lepak kat rumah, jadi suri rumah yang berjaya. Durian dah mula menjejak rumah, adik ipar aku rajin ke dusun mengutip. Aku yang terlebih rajin pulak buatlah bubur kacang letak durian, buat serawa durian makan ngan roti jala. Cuma tempoyak jer aku tak reti buat. Aku tanakkan pulut dan masakkan santan, sebab abang nak makan pulut durian. Aku buat dan tengok jer... sebab aku tak reti nak makan eheh..

Ayah mertua aku ke Melaka untuk petandingan siulan burung. Dapat tempat ketiga. Dan aku dapat cencaluk. Tengkiu. Aku jamu dia dengan bubur kacang, lepas berehat sekejap dia bertolak pulak ke Kelantan, ada urusan katanya.

Member2 aku dah pandai memancing di belakang bengkel abang, Malam Sabtu lepas dapat juga mereka naikkan senangin. Dekat 2 kilo juga beratnya. Kalau ikan duri tuh tak payah cerita ler, berlumba2 naik ke darat. Aku cuma lepak di kerusi malas sambil tengok abang mancing.


Edisi Siasat

Aku suka tengok program ni. Tapi makin lama aku makin tak minat. Dalam beberapa edisi sebelum nih, perkara yang diketengahkan asyik seks. Tak de isu lain yang lebih penting ke? Aku rasa banyak lagi isu yang boleh diketengahkan. Tapi mungkin itu yang boleh melonjakkan rating kot... Skrip penyampainya juga agak kasar. memanglah tujuan edisi siasat tu nak mendedahkan sedikit sebanyak kepincangan tapi bukankah elok kalau lebih beradap bunyinya. Tegur dengan berhemah, ni sampai boleh cakap "apa bangangnya orang kita" atau "tak buat kerja ke jabatan XYZ". Pendedahan tuh bagus tapi biarlah dengan cara yang baik... itu pendapat aku ler...

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Pagi ni masa nak melangkah masuk ke office, ada orang sapa aku dari belakang. Ingatkan student, rupanya pakcik aku eheh. Terkejut aku tengok dia berdiri depan muka. Rupanya dia ada kursus PLC selama 4 hari, mula Isnin lepas. Pakcik aku ni kerja kat Petronas di Kertih.

"paman perasan dah nama kat pintu tapi paman cari Lin tak jumpa pulak sejak Isnin tuh"
"eheh, Lin cuti 2 hari, Isnin ngan Selasa, pastu semalam jaga exam pagi ngan petang"
"oooo, bilanya nak mampir umah paman kat Kertih tu. Sejak kahwin tak singgah2 pun. Bibik tu asyik tanya jer'
" Insyaallah, nanti senang2 Lin pergilah ek"

Tengok jam dah dekat kol 9 pagi, aku kena jaga exam, dia pun nak start kelas dah. Aku rasa happy jer dapat jumpa dia sbb aku ngan family sebelah emak memang rapat. Nantilah, kalau ada kelapangan ujung minggu ni aku nak ke Kertih, penuhi undangan pakcik aku tuh.

---

Hari ni baru masuk kerja lepas cuti 3 hari. Minggu ni pun tak banyak kerja sangat sebab student exam. Quite relax so to say. Last weekend, I had fun, enuf said. Pagi ni amik uniform organisasi. Cuba pakai, ok lah juga. Blazer jabatan pun dah siap maka bolehlah dipakai masa majlis graduasi pelajar nanti. Cuma agak terkilan dengan kain yang digunakan, rasanya masa pilih material dulu taklah sekeras tu kainnya. Tapi mungkin sebab tailor tuh bawak secebis jer, kalau bawak sekayu mungkin jugak eheh.

Semalam aku marathon siapkan bunga telur, hadiah untuk sepupu. Lega rasa dah settle. Pot Pouri pun dah siap. Lapik pahar sudah aku ketepikan. Serampang dua mata dalam perniagaan. Aku beri pada dia dan secara tak langsung aku promosikan hasil kerja tangan aku. Cuba2 berniaga ikut jejak abang. Tambah2 pendapatan keluarga.


Borak Durian

Kuantan sekarang ni kebanjiran durian. Sana sini bau durian. Harga pun boleh tahan juga murah. Awal musim lagi. Pertengahan musim nanti tentu lagi murah. Aku belajar perkataan baru daripada seorang sahabat masa berborak pasal durian dengannya.

aku: emak sihat ?
dia : sihat
dia : semalam call dia
dia : asik soh balik kampung jer
dia : durian dah rahat
aku: pi lah balik.... emak sruh tuh
aku: rahat tu apa?
dia : rahat maksud dah gugur banyak
dia : durian gugur terbagi 3 fasa
dia : 1. belajar
dia : 2. rahat
aku: ye ke.. aku tak tau sungguh
dia : 3. pengujung
aku: oooo camtu
dia : masa rahat kan
aku: best ah.. makan durian
dia : satu pokok tu sampai 20 ke 30 biji
dia : gugur
aku: sehari?
dia : a'ah
aku: jenuh nak mengutip
aku: masa aku gi ke dusun pak mertua aku kan.. aku tengok pekerja dia pakai helmet ekekekek
dia : heheh
aku: kalo dok pecoh kepale
dia : aku biasa kalau takut
dia : pakai tengkolok
dia : kain batik mak aku
dia : buat cam serban
aku: boleh bayangkan... boleh bayangkan
dia : jgn buat main tau
dia : ada orang kampung aku kena hempap
dia : berjahit kepala
aku: kesian dia
aku: pernah makan nasi durian?
aku: aku tak pernah rasa
dia : alarr
dia : ko gaul isi durian dgn nasik
dia : sedap gak
dia : jadi cam texture tapai gitu
aku: ek.... aku cam tak boleh digest jer dalam otak ni...nasik makan ngan durian
aku: lidah tempelah katakan :D
dia : heheh
aku: mak pandai buat tempoyak tak?
dia : buat gak
dia : aku tatau nak kata pandai ke tak
aku: best yerrrr
dia : tapi jadi lar tempoyak
aku: aku hantu tempoyak
dia : heheh
dia : a'ah tempoyak best
dia : takyah ulam pun takper
aku: aku boleh jer makan ngan nasi panas ngan ikan goreng
aku: tapi susahler nak dapat yang fresh.. biasa yang dah lama.
dia : aku kan fav sambal tempoyak cam sambal tumis yg campur dgn daun kunyit hiris tu
dia : sedappp
aku: aku bagi hint nih weh... :D
dia : apa
aku: mak pandai buat kan
aku: eheh
aku: tapau ler sebalang bagi aku :D
dia : ohh
dia : tempoyak ekk
dia : ok set

Perkataan baru yang aku belajar ialah rahat (fasa kedua musim durian luruh) dan faedah yang aku dapat ialah sebalang tempoyak fresh dari mak eheh...

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Exam

Minggu depan minggu exam. Aku ada sedikit masa untuk santai. Jadi aku amik cuti dua hari. Isnin dan Selasa. Hopefully I can sit lazily doing exactly nothing eheh. Student datang dan pergi minta tips. Aku cuma kata, apa yang kita bincangkan dalam kelas selama 5 minggu ni akan masuk ujian.

"takkan tak boleh bagi tips Puan?"
"kan saya kata apa yang kita bincangkan akan masuk"
"ala Puan, bagilah topik spesifik"
"saya minta maaf, awak kena ulangkaji pelajaran selama 5 minggu ni, saya tak boleh bagitau lebih daripada itu"

Aku kengkadang pelik ngan student nih. Terlalu bergantung pada cikgu. Setiap kali ujian bagi salam, mulalah menyerbu ofis minta tips. kalau boleh nak senarai lengkap topik dan subtopik yang bakal disoal. Dah apa guna belajar? Aku cuba terangkan pada mereka, tak ada short cut masa belajar ni. memang kena ikut long way. Barulah benda yang dipelajari tu lekat kat kepala, boleh diaplikasikan masa kerja. Setakat ni aku masih boleh dianggap belum berjaya. Kena cuba lagi, sampai ada yang dengar atau sampai aku tak larat (yang mana dulu)


Rencam

Hajat dihati nak tengok Lara Croft : Tomb Raider malam ni. Ingat boleh tempah tiket cam selalu, hampehhh... tak boleh lagi. Tengok minggu depan ler. Aku malas nak beratur.

Esok ada program motivasi untuk staff. Lama tak hadiri program begini. Harap2 menarik. Sebab kengkadang nama jer program motivasi, tapi penceramahnya cuma berdiri tegak, pegang mikrofon dan baca slide. Aku pun boleh camtu.

Ahad ni kalau takde aral melintang aku nak pergi makan angin. Lama rasanya tak pergi bersiar2. No particular occasion to celebrate, cuma nak berehat, bersantai berdua tanpa gangguan telefon atau urusan kerja. So we'll just slip away quietly, turn off our handphones, and we'll have fun. We'll be back to real world on Monday evening.

Since when asking a favour means giving an order? hmmm...

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Kayuh Beskal

Setiap pagi, lepas stamp punch card, aku pergi bersarapan dengan abang. Pagi ni aku sarapan kat Warung Sitiman. Order teh o suam dan nasi lemak. Sementara tunggu makanan sampai aku baca paper. memang hebat Lance Amstrong, pelumba US Postal, walaupun jatuh dalam beberapa kilometer ke penamat, dia dapat jugak menang stage semalam dalam Le Tour De France. Dia masih kekalkan jersi kuning.

Aku masih menunggu bila Malaysia akan dapat melahirkan jaguh lumba basikal sebenar. Kalau tak segagah Amstrong yang dah menang 4 kali Tour de France, cukuplah kalau dapat hasilkan jaguh cam Tonton Susanto dari Indonesia. Dia sekarang wakili pasukan Giant Asia. Tonton ni aku kenal memalui beberapa kejohanan yang aku terlibat. Sangat berdisplin, sopan dan amat merendah diri. kalau nak ikut latihan dia taklah banyak peruntukan cam pelumba Malaysia, pergi race pun belanja sendiri. Asal dapat tempat tidur dan makan, sudah cukup untuk dia datang berlumba. Aku kurang nampak semangat begini dikalangan pelumba kita. Jauh malam masih di lobi, berbanding pelumba negara luar yang masuk tidur sebelum pukul 11.

Aku juga masih menunggu ada pelumba kita yang boleh menang satu peringkat jelajah Le Tour De Langkawi. Tempat kita, kejohanan kita tapi pemenang masih orang luar.......


Air Masam

Masa aku sedang menikmati air teh o pagi tadi. Datang sekeluarga ni bersarapan. Masa membuat pesanan si anak kecil ni minta air masam. Emak dia pening, banyak air masam, air yang mana satu?

Anak : nak air masam
Emak : air milolah ye, sedap tau
Anak : tak nak..nak air masam ( start merengek)
Emak : ok.. ok.. air oren satu
Anak : tak nak (nangis dah) nak air masam! nak air masam!
Emak : ye lah... air laici ke ( naik suara dah)
Anak : bukan.. nak air masam mama... nak air masam!!! (nangis beriya)

(masa ni kalo mak dia boleh tuko kaler mesti dah kaler ijau dah)

Emak : bagitaulah air apa
Anak : air masam ler mama waaaa..waaaa..waaa
Emak : air limau ke, air limau masam
Anak : tak mo.. nak air masam!!!

(pakcik yang amik order tuh belajar psikologi agaknya, dengan rileknya dia tanya budak kecik tuh)

Pakcik : air masam satu ya, air masam tu warna apa?
Anak : warna merah la (sambil nangis)
Pakcik : ok nanti pakcik bawak air masam warna merah.
Anak : (senyum, kesat air mata)
Emak : Laaa.. cakaplah nak sirap limau..
Anak : cakaplah tadi
Emak :(geleng kepala jer)

Beberapa minit lepas tuh pakcik tu bawak sirap limau, budak tu capai, dan sroottttt... dia menikmati air masamnya.

Aku pikir camnelah budak tu nak tau namanya sirap limau, umur pun dalam 3 tahun jer. Kalau ikut psycholinguistic pun memang budak besar tu akan buat generalisation. tak kiralah warna air ke apa ke, asal masam, air masam ler tuh.

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Gembiranya Emak

Abang aku yang kerja di Johor Bahru dapat transfer semula ke Klang. Emak happy sungguh masa call aku semalam. Alhamdulillah, emak dan Noni dah tak sunyi lagi. Aku pun dah tak perlu risau pasal keselamatan mereka. Tinggal adik aku jerlah sorang2 kat JB tuh.

Workwise, minggu depan minggu ujian jadi rileklah aku. Semalam dapat berita, rumah salah seorang staf kat sini dipecah masuk. Banyak juga kerugian dia. Selain cash, barang hantaran untuk perkahwinan dia pun lesap. Aku tumpang simpati ngan dia, ya lah.. bulan depan nak jadi raja sehari, terpaksa pula berhadapan dengan dugaan seperti itu. Tapi mujur dia tak diapa2kan. Itu yang paling penting kan. Be strong dear :)

Lighter note, tahniah rudy, dapat masuk final Roda Impian, semoga impian yang lain akan tercapai *wink* Aku tetap sahabat ko eheh..

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Cerita Silam

Sabtu dan Ahad, hari santai. Aku ikut abang tengok sprint test keter kat Taman Bandar, program tu sempena Bulan Sukan Bermotor 2003. Tapi aku tengok sekejap jer sebab aku tak pandai nak menghayati ngauman kereta2 yang bertanding. Abang hantar aku ke rumah Kak Molly. Pehtu dia ngan hubby kak Molly gi balik ke tempat pertandingan tu.

Aku tengok juga Akademi Fantasia masa dok lepak ngan Kak Molly. Sedih seh.... Rosma yang terkeluar sedangkan nyanyian dia baik. Yang Nana tuh, nyanyi cam apa2 ntah, masih bertahan. Tu lah kuasa penonton dan pemilik telefon. Komentar di akhbar sarankan supaya diadakan juri profesional. Tapi dah konsep Akademi tu camtu kan. Aku rasa walaupun peserta yang baik cam Rosma dan Burn yang dah terundi keluar, tapi mana2 syarikat rakaman mesti dah nampak bakat mereka. Yang menarik tuh, satu dewan boleh menitik air mata time Rosma kuar, episod sebeum nih tak pun sampai gitu sekali. Maka aku boleh katakan rancangan ala2 survivor ni memang menarik minat penonton ler. *tabik sikit*

Malam tadik pulak aku tengok Smallville ngan Gilmore Girls, kak iza tengok gak ek? *wink* Aku memang tak tinggal seepisod pun, sebab kedua2 citer nih merilekkan kepala aku. Cerita kehidupan seharian. Erkkkk.... kenapa aku cerita pasal rancangan TV?


Cerita Hari Ni

Kelas agak padat tapi tak perlah. Hujan dan sangat sejuk kat sini. Biasanya pertengahan tahun kat Pantai Timur nih panas, tapi tahun nih lain macam pulak cuacanya. Very unpredictable.. hmmm.. makes me wonder

Aku dapat call dari sahabat. Dia sepatutnya melangsungkan perkahwinan 31 Ogos ni. Aku ingat dia call sebab nak ingatkan aku tarikh tu. Rupanya dia call sebab nak beritahu majlis tu dah dibatalkan. Tunangnya terlibat dengan kemalangan dan meninggal dunia di hospital. Aku terkejut, sedih. Aku mungkin boleh beri perangsang pada sahabat aku tu, tapi kalau aku kata aku faham akan kesedihannya, aku mungkin menipu dia dan menipu diri sendiri. Aku cuma mampu mendoakan dia tabah menghadapi ujian Allah. Hujung minggu ni aku nak balik berjumpa sahabat aku ni. Insyaallah.

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Sandarkan pada kenangan

Mlm tadi pergi makan nasi goreng kerabu ngan abang. Rasanya? bolehlah... memang tak sesedap yang aku biasa makan di SCUD.. ingat lagik si engku eheh.. Gerai SCUD tuh memang selalu penuh dengan student UIA, UM dan MARA. Aku dulu duduk kat blok 7 (sister's college ada 7 blok semuanya), betul2 depan SCUD nih. Jadi memalam kalau rasa lapar, jerit jer dari dalam pagar. Abang2 SCUD nih pun sporting, bila mereka nampak Mak Guard, cencepat bagitau kami. Masa sahur pun boleh lagi order.. memang best kalau diingat balik kisah dedulu.

Mummy ingatkan aku pasal Makcik Angah.. dia jual nasi campur sebelah SCUD nih, tengahari ngan petang. Kak Iza ngan geng dia panggil Makcik Doraemon ihiks. makcik nih memang peramah habis... anak2 dia pun camtuh gak. Again kelebihan student yang dok kat blok 7 nih, nampak jer wagon makcik Angah, pakai tudung terus ler tunggu kat bawah. Lagi2 masa bulan puasa. Kengkadang baik hati.... siap tolong turunkan lauk pauk dari wagon dia.

Kalau korang pernah baca majalah Ujang dalam tahun 1996 onwards, mesti perasan kartun yang perempuannya semer bertudung.. biasanya background kartun tuh depan blok 7 tuh ler. kartunisnya pun senior aku... tapi aku tak kenal eheh. Kat majalah Gila2, ada lawak kampus.. haaa yang tuh pulak situasi kat main kampus kat PJ. Kalau watak pak guard tuh kami taulah sapa yang dimaksudkan. Atau contengan2 kat dinding, taulah sapa lecturer yang dimaksudkan....

Masa belajar dulu, bila nampak orang dah ada kerjaya, aku tak sabar2 nak mula bekerja. Tapi sekarang bila aku tengok kampus aku dulu, aku terfikir pulak, ngapalah cepat sangat aku habis belajar? Enjoy sungguh masa belajar, pergi kelas balik kelas, buat assignment, gi exam, cuti. takde masalah langsung. Lagi pulak dapat kenal beberapa jurnalis sekampus ngan aku dulu, tak kiralah junior ke senior... memang mengimbau kenangan ler.


Cerita hari ni

Pagi ni seratus lebih pelajar akan bertolak ke Alor gajah Melaka untuk Kursus Bina Negara-Mahasiswa. Hopefully dapatlah mereka belajar, menghayati ceramah dan LDK nanti. Aku pulak tunggu panggilan pertama untuk fasilitate Kursus Bina Negara. Jangan luar Pahang sudah.. aku tak larat nak travel jauh2.

Nak siapkan lesson plan kejap... chow

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My sister's in law wedding

Famili abang dah mula buat persiapan untuk majlis pertunangan dan perkahwinan adik ipar aku. Semalam, kami ramai2 tengok contoh kad jemputan, 2 album besar. Memang cantik2, harga pun 'cantik' juga. Aku cuma mengiyakan jer pendapat mereka. Bila aku pulak yang ditanya maka aku bagi jawapan yang pada aku rasional lah. Pada aku kalau nak buat kad jemputan yang cantik dan mahal takper kalau budgetnya cukup. Tapi kalau setakat nak tunjuk yang kita ni tak kalah kalau nak dibandingkan dengan kengkawan kita ke, jiran ke.. baik tak payah. Buat sajalah kad yang menarik dan murah. Lagi satu, bukannya orang akan simpan kad tu. kalau simpan pun sekejap jer, lepastu dibuang juga. Baik duit yang ada tu digunakan untuk benda yang lebih penting cam barang hantaran ke, kenduri ke... lebih manis jika tetamu dihidangkan dengan makanan yang enak dan layanan tuan rumah yang baik... itu yang akan dikenang sebenarnya ( aku pinjam kata2 emak ) Kalau tetamu yang dikatakan berpangkat dan berkedudukan yang akan datang, maka tetamu itu yang harus faham... bahawa majlis itu meraikan pengantin, bukan meraikan dia. jadi masalah nak beri kad yang mahal tak timbul. Sebagai tetamu, dia harus menghormati tuan rumah. Tapi ye lah... bila pendapat diberi dan bertentangan pula dengan impian pendengar, maka pendapat itu cuma tinggal pendapat. Aku cuma mendengar dan sekali sekala mengangguk.


Jalan2 cari makan

Aku rasa nak makan nasi goreng kerabu. Lama sungguh tak makan. Masa di Lembah Pantai dulu selalu makan di SCUD (gerai kecil tepi astroturf). Aku cuba juga tanya2 kat gerai2 makan kat sekitar sini tapi cam blurr je muka pelayan tu. Nasi kerabu ada ler katanya. Pagi ni aku tanya member aku kalau2 dia tau mena2 gerai yang ada. Alhamdulillah..... ada jugak rupanya jual kat sini. Malam ni aku nak gi menjamu tekak di gerai depan UITM Bukit Sekilau. Mengidam ke aku? eerrkkk


Rencam

+ Tahniah kepada expecting parent, kaezrin... welcome to the club eheh

+ Kebetulan pulak, aku dapat kad jemputan sahabat, nama bakal suaminya sama ngan nama abang, bukan sahaja namanya tapi juga nama bakal pak mertuanya... what a coincidence. Aku kacau abang... "ntah2 abang tak?" abang cuma senyum. Tahniah pada Ija :)

+ Majlis Penyampaian Sijil Pelajar yang sepatutnya diadakan pada 29 Julai ni ditangguhkan ke 26 Ogos sebab Menteri Besar tak dapat datang pada tarikh tu. Maka terpaksalah jawatankuasa jemputan hantar pulak surat penangguhan kepada lebih seibu orang. Terpaksalah jawatankuasa protokol hantar surat pada jemputan2. Terpaksalah buat semua benda sekali lagi. Dah confirm pun boleh tak confirm semula ek.....*garu kepala* Anyway tahniah pada student2 yang dah grad.

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SLG kembali lagi

Skim Latihan Graduan, Pembangunan Sumber Manusia Berhad ( PSMB ) dah diwujudkan semula. main Office tempat aku kerja ni dah mula dikunjungi graduan2 yang masih tak bekerja untuk dapatkan maklumat. Aku pun dapat e-mail, Pengarah Pembangunan Perniagaan mintak CV untuk dihantar ke PSMB. Maknanya besar kemungkinan aku akan mengajar Kursus Bahasa Inggeris Intensif selama 6 bulan, 7 jam sehari tuh huhuhuhuhu... Lembik ler aku nampaknya.


MC oh MC

Jumaat dan Sabtu lepas aku amik MC. Datang opis setengah hari jer. Tak larat sungguh. Kepala pusing2, tekak loya etc etc etc. Abang amik kat opis, terus gi klinik. balik rumah aku terus tidur. Sabtu pun cuma larat bangun gi bilik air jer. Satu kerja rumah pun aku tak buat. Memang tak larat.... emak kata aku dah start alahan dah... mungkin juga. Aku cuma harap jangan terlalu teruk sebab aku malas nak ganti kelas ke apa.

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Masalah sosial

Malam tadi ada pasar malam di Cenderawasih. Memandangkan aku malas nak memasak, maka akupun heret abang ke sana. Bukan pasar tu yang aku nak ceritakan sebab mana2 pasar malam pun sama jer. Aku nak cerita pasal budak2 yang aku rasa cukup tak senonoh melepak sesama mereka. Aku tak rasa yang umur mereka ni lebih daripada 20 tahun. Abang kata budak baru belajar nak bergalak (sebut : baru blaja nok begalok). Maksudnya mukadimah nak menjerumuskan diri ke masalah sosial ler tuh.

Aku kengkadang fikir juga, kenapa budak2 tu jadi camtu? Yang lelaki dengan baju selekehnya, yang perempuan dengan baju ketatnya, sepesen jer satu group. Dengan gaya percakapan yang tak sopan. Mesti masih bersekolah. Apa yang mendorong mereka nih jadi camtu? Abang kata sebab kurang kawalan mak bapak. Tapi pengalaman aku ngan student2..... kalau kat kelas, kat rumah memang baik, tapi bila kat luar lain pulak. Cam ada split personality. Aku pernah personally tegur student yang aku tau ada 'aktiviti' lain di luar tapi jawab dia "Alah puan, mak bapak saya pun tak kata apa2" Habis apa aku nak kata?

Member aku, polis kat Bukit Aman, dia uruskan kes2 juvana di sana kata sekarang ni memang senang kalau nak dapat 'service' percuma dari perempuan. Bawak jer jenjalan naik keter pehtu belanja makan, minum, tengok wayang... mesti dapat. Kalau buat rush memang ramai kena, dan majoritinya daripada bangsa aku ler. Yang penuh kat pusat2 pemulihan tu pun bangsa aku juga. Memang ada yang jadi mangsa keadaan tapi jumlahnya amat sikit. Aku jadi takut memikirkan masa anak aku nanti... bagaimana pula keadaannya masa tu? mampu ke aku mendidik dia supaya tak terpengaruh dengan gejala2 camtu? aku cuma mampu berdoa dan buat yang terbaik


Lighter Note

+ Kak Iza dah dapat domain name baru, senyum jer dia pagi nih. Well... she deserves it... pah ni selalu update ek kak... pah tu jgn lupa buat sign pintu opis kita nih eheh.

+ Aku cuba lighten up my mood by doing little things like jahit manik kat lapik pahar. End up I was sooo absorbed dan aku dapat siapkan 3 helai malam tadi lepas balik dari pasar malam. Ada lagi 10 helai nak siapkan.....

+ Esok kena submit soalan mid term. Aku baru buat satu huhuhuhuhu. Nak recycle sem lepas punya boleh?

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Pendek-pendek

+ Hari ni aku ada appointment kat spital. Tapi kena batalkan sebab abang ikut ayah melawat site. Pergi esoklah agaknya

+ Minggu depan contact hour aku bertambah lagi. Baru nak rilek iskh iskh. Dah arahan, kenalah ikut.

+ Bila sesuatu kerja tu dibuat dalam keadaan terpaksa, ikhlas memang takde dah. Bila dah selalu camtu bukan tangan jer bekerja, mulut pun ikut kerja (membebel). Akhirnya aku nekad untuk tak buat lagi kerja2 terpaksa. Aku nak tunggu apa akan jadi. Can they survive without me? Sounds vindictive is it not? ermmm..

+ Daging dah terkeluar daripada senarai makanan aku.

+ Aku malas nak beriya dalam satu hal nih, sebab tuan punya diri pun endah tak endah jer. Aku boleh tolong.... tapi dia kenalah buat lebih sebab itu majlis dia. Mana cukup dengan cakap hari dah dekat, satu benda tak buat/beli/sedia lagi tapi tiap hari cuma tau keluar ngan kengkawan, terperap dalam bilik, belanja duit utk benda2 lain. Minta maaf bebanyaklah. If you don't start.. then I won't.. period.

+ Aku rasa keputusan aku untuk cuti bersalin kat kampung tu hak aku. Ikut aku ler nak kat mana. Emak aku bidan, dah pasti aku akan dapat jagaan yang baik. Yang sibuk2 tak bagi tu kenapa? apa masalah? Dapat untung ke? cedera ke? Abang pun ok, setuju... mereka tu sapa nak halang aku. Sebab jauh, cara jagaan lain, bla bla bla come on lah.... I'll play deaf for all I care

Moody semacam jer entry aku hari ni........ memang aku tengah takde mood pun. So don't start, nothing is funny today.

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Semalam ofis agak sunyi. Memasing pakat cuti, penat masih berbaki dek perjalanan jauh dari Cameron Highland. Aku dapat seplastik hitam besar, ole2 dari sana. Aku kirim ngan member. Jadinya malam tadi berpesta sayur ler kat rumah. Aku masak pajeri terung, asparagus dalam sos tiram, goreng ikan masin dan ulam petai. Pehtu lantak pulak makan oren ngan strawberi. Tidur dengan perut yang sebu eheh.

Seronok aku tengok abang makan. Semenjak 2 menjak ni selera makan dia bagus. Yang aku pulak dok gile makan anggur hitam/merah. Memang tak pernah putus bekalan 2 minggu kebelakangan nih. Mujur anggur, kalau delima mana nak carik?

Malam tadi abang dapat call daripada Malaysia National Cycling Federation (MNCF), Bulan 9 nanti abang kena bertugas di Penang International Mountain Bike Challenge. Kena tinggal lagi nampaknya *sigh* Tapi dah tugas dia, kenalah terima kan. Tapi yang best, bila abang bertugas aku boleh kirim ole2, banyak juga cenderahati pertandingan yang boleh aku simpan. Kalau abang jadi ke Sabah untuk Tour De Borneo, maknanya bulan 9 nih 2 kali ler kena tinggal. Aku sure tak dapat ikut walaupun ditawarkan tugas. tak leh naik flight dah....

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Hari Keluarga 2003

Office aku dah kosong. Hanya tinggal beberapa kerat jer staff yang tak pergi Hari Keluarga di Cameron Highland. Hebatkan... dapat off setengah hari walaupun bertolak pukul 9 malam nih. Rasa cam tak best juga sebab tak dapat ikut tahun nih. Tapi dek kerana nasihat doktor, aku tarik diri ler. Yang cam tak best tu sebab hadiah cabutan bertuah tahun nih best. Hadiah utama, set bilik tidur. Ada sofa, mesin basuh, peralatan elektrik. Tak perlah, bukan rezeki aku. Anyway, tak rasa ralat sangat sebab aku dah biasa ke sana, bercuti, Le Tour De Langkawi. Tahun depan ler, boleh pergi ngan baby insyaallah.


Aku nak....

+ tengok Charlie's Angels malam ni
+ beli baju esok
+ pergi scan minggu depan
+ siapkan bunga telur ngan lapik pahar
+ beli anggur, bekalan dah abis :D
+ masak apa ya malam ni?

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Diari Emak

Aku sempat luangkan masa 2 hari di kampung.. dah dekat 2 bulan tak balik aku rasa banyak sangat perubahan yang berlaku. tak perlah... bagus juga untuk penduduk kampung. Jalan utama masuk ke kampung aku dah ada traffic light, bukan jalan pekan tau, jalan kampung. nanti aku ambil gambar :)

Hari Sabtu, lepas solat subuh aku lepak kat luar rumah, memandang ke timur, melihat, merenung ufuk... indahnya Ya Allah. Aku terkesima seketika, berfikir betapa selama ni aku tak pernah ambil kesempatan untuk melihat keindahan ciptaan Allah. Lama aku berteleku... aku bersyukur.. dipanjangkan umur sehari lagi.

Menjelang petang aku menolong emak mengemas rumah. Tinggal berdua dengan Noni, dengan tanggungjawab umpama pekerja nursery emak tak berkesempatan mengemas katanya. Aku disuruh mengemas dan membuang buku2 yang dah tak diperlukan. Kebanyakannya buku latihan dan kertas ujian kami adik beradik masa sekolah dulu. Satu persatu kotak aku keluarkan dari bawah katil. Kerja yang sepatutnya boleh habis dalam sejam masih tak habis menjelang maghrib. Aku mengemas sambil membelek....

Membelek helaian kertas lama persis membuka semula buku memori. Setiap tulisan ada makna. Setiap buku adalah lambang penitian aku untuk sampai ke tahap sekarang, lambang perit jerih emak dan ayah menyekolahkan aku. Aku tatap, aku selak helaian demi helaian.. aku tertawa sendiri mengingat zaman persekolahan dulu.

Lepas maghrib..aku masih membelek. Emak suruh buangkan, aku kata nanti dulu.. aku nak tengok kalau ada apa2 yang berguna untuk pengajaran. Dalam satu kotak yang paling dalam aku jumpa beberapa diari lama. Diari emak. Emak simpan diari juga? Tahun 1983... itu yang paling lama. Dah kuning pun mukasurat. Yang paling baru... tahun 2002.Hm...menarik. Apalah agaknya yang emak tulis...
"Emak... lin jumpa diari lama emak, boleh lin baca?"
"bacalah.. diari lama emak tu..semua cerita lama, saja emak tulis kot kot nak ingat tarikh penting"
Aku tak sabar nak tengok, apa agaknya yang ditulis emak dalam diari2nya.

Aku selak helaian demi helaian, diari demi diari. Aku tersentuh, aku dapat selami perasaan emak masa menulis. Aku sangka akan jumpa catatan harian sebagaimana yang aku tulis sekarang. Emak rupanya menulis tentang anak-anaknya. Perkembangan hidup anak-anaknya... emak menulis tentang kehidupan anak-anaknya. Emak catat semua peristiwa penting yang dilalui anak-anaknya. Pahit manis emak membesarkan cahayamatanya penuh mengisi dada diari2 emak. Aku baca semuanya. Aku dapat menyusuri perjalanan hidup aku sedari awal mengenal dunia. Indah rasanya.

Lin mula bersekolah
Lin naik darjah, naik tingkatan
Lin dapat nombor berapa, dapat hadiah apa
Lin masuk UIA
Lin dapat biasiswa, beri emak RM***
Lin balik bercuti
Lin balik asrama
Lin dah ada pakwe
Lin susah hati, tak nak makan
Lin grad
Lin bertunang
Lin pindah Pahang
Lin kahwin

Itu antara yang emak tulis. Antara isi pentingnya sahaja kalau aku merujuk pada tarikh tertentu. Emak juga tulis tentang perasaanya berhadapan dengan kerenah anak2. Emak seperti dapat menyelami perasaan sedih aku dalam sesetengah entrynya. Emak seolah memberikan semua kebahagiaannya pada aku dan menyimpan semua kedukaan aku dalam sesetengah entrynya. Aku dapat mengimbau kembali emosi dan perasaan aku, aku dapat nilai betapa aku telah berubah dari masa ke semasa. Betapa masa lalu banyak mencorakkan cara aku berfikir.

Aku pun nak mulakan diari... nak bercerita tentang aku, tentang perasaan aku, tentang orang sekeliling aku. Ya... hanya untuk aku... mana tahu ada rezeki, boleh aku jadikan cerita untuk modal menulis autobiografi atau memoir.... mana tahu kan...

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